Episode 156. anxiety (4)
-smart
Even though Resimus knocked on the door, there was no response from inside.
“Arin, I’m going in.”
When she opened the door and went in, she saw Arin sitting on a chair, looking at the ceiling with blank eyes.
“I brought snacks. How about eating something? “You haven’t eaten anything the whole time, right?”
Arin’s condition was truly helpless, with no motivation for everything.
It was a contrast to his usual energetic and motivated appearance, which made viewers feel sad.
“I’m so pathetic, aren’t I, Resimus?”
She weakly opened her mouth.
“It’s not unexpected to get an engagement rejected, but why am I so miserable, like a person whose world has ended?”
After the meeting with the imperial family who came to the Academy, Xian suddenly announced the breakup of the engagement.
The reason was that he could no longer be at the Academy, and no further details were given.
Soon after, the news that Xian had submitted his resignation letter to the administration spread throughout the academy.
“Ji, I think it’s natural that there’s nothing we can do about it now. That’s because Arin said to Sian… … .”
“Because you like it a lot?”
“… … !”
Resimus was speechless for a moment.
“I’m not going to deny it anymore. that’s right. “I liked Xian a lot.”
Despite expressing her honest feelings, Arin’s face was expressionless.
“I think I’ve liked you ever since we parted ways at the front. I tried to express myself in various ways to please Sian, and tried hard to become a better version of myself, but in the end, I guess I couldn’t become Sian’s person. To be exact, Xian didn’t need me… … .”
Even if he wanted to say something comforting, Resimus had nothing he could say.
It seemed like no amount of good words in the world could make Arin feel better right now.
“When my sister and brothers came to visit me during the day, I was honestly scared. Because I felt like I had returned to a past I had forgotten. She is an incompetent princess who can do nothing. “That was the real me.”
When I imagine that time when I couldn’t even flinch from Violette’s words, I still feel ashamed.
“But the moment Xian came, all that anxiety disappeared and I felt relieved and peaceful. Should I say she was willing? I even felt respect for the way they treated their brothers, whom I was so afraid of, so confidently… … .”
In her hand was a document that Xian had given her during the day.
“Why did Sian give this to me? Maybe it was given to me to protect myself? “I guess I wanted to convey the message to always be careful and be prepared, because you never know when and where something will happen to you.”
A kind of final gift.
Interpreted differently, it also meant that there was no next time.
“Xian took care of me until the end for my shortcomings, but in reality, I haven’t done anything for Xian? Let alone doing anything for me, I don’t even know anything about Xi’an… … .”
It’s just that he’s the son of a duke who’s a little special from others.
In the first place, Xian never revealed anything about himself to Arin.
“Xian clearly said that he lives for himself, but what on earth is he living for himself? “Can’t I enter the life that Xian wants to pursue?”
“Don’t be too upset! If Arin really wasn’t concerned, there’s no way Xian would have given that advice! “I think he meant it more harshly, meaning that we should live well without him!”
“okay. I guess so. Because Sian has always been like that. Since I can’t be around to say things like that anymore, I guess that means I have to get through it alone… … .”
Arin nodded slightly, as if agreeing with Resimus’ words.
but,
“By the way, Resimus. “Can I do well?”
Arin wasn’t sure.
“You may not need Xi’an, but I still need Xi’an. Will I be able to get through this scary future without Xi’an?”
The voice also gradually began to weaken.
“I’m not confident… … .”
Thick tears fell from reddened eyes and soaked the floor.
“I need to live well and show it off, but I’m not confident about that… … . I think it would be great if you just stayed by my side a little longer, or just forever… … “Why can’t I beg to do that?”
The tears that had been falling one drop or two soon poured down pitifully like rain, and now even sobs could be heard.
“I feel really stupid… … .”
An incompetent princess who can’t do anything.
The ugly side of her that she never wanted to see again was appearing without filtering through her tears.
* * *
“stop! stop! “I lost, Xian!”
Set, who declared surrender, fell to the floor as if his strength had run out.
“The sky is so clear… … .”
The night sky is studded with stars that shine especially brightly today.
The guy suddenly raised his head and looked at me and asked.
“Just tell me honestly what happened! “How much of your strength did you use while fighting me?”
“Whatever you think, half way down there.”
“A monster… … .”
I thought he was going to stick his tongue out, but then he fell down again.
“In the end, if a guy like me rushes in as a unit, it’ll be hard to even hurt you, right? “I don’t even think this is regrettable.”
Do you know what one of the driving forces for human development is?
It is the regret that arises in situations where you are close to your goal but cannot reach it.
Based on that regret, humans try to pursue better growth.
However, when a huge wall is erected so that you can’t even feel those feelings,
At that time, it is not a feeling of regret, but a feeling of despair and helplessness.
Then, because they don’t want to do anything, let alone grow, they naturally end up weeding out.
That’s probably the state he’s in right now.
“Can I ask you something?”
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“So.”
Contrary to what I thought he would ask right away, Set took quite a bit of pause.
“Even I, who ran wild in the ruins, would have had a hard time defeating you?”
It was a very serious tone, uncharacteristic of a guy.
“You don’t know that. “Because I didn’t fight until the end.”
I’m not saying this to make you feel better, it’s sincere.
Why would you be scared of a person in an absolute coma?
At that moment, it is scary because you are not dealing with a human, but a heterogeneous being from a different dimension.
In the first place, that sand god also used this guy with the intention of killing me.
I couldn’t be sure what the outcome would have been if we had fought to the end.
“Is that so?”
I must have realized something, so I quickly shook my ass off and stood up.
“It may sound a little trivial, but I always thought of myself as the strongest human in the kingdom. “If that unknown guy came without warning and went on a rampage, no one could stop him.”
Well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
At least, I don’t think there will be any student in this academy who would dare compete with you.
“So I thought I had to make myself stronger. So much so that no matter when that guy comes back, my body won’t be taken over! “I thought that only then would he be able to protect our kingdom as his full self!”
okay. In your past life, you had already reached that level and surpassed it… … .
“People said that. The person entering my body is Sabulom, the guardian deity of this land. If that’s true, then you, who I dealt with on the day of the rampage, also had powers similar to that god, right? is not it?”
When I was told to think whatever I wanted, I just nodded without saying a word.
“The more I look at it, the more amazing I think it is. Unlike me, who can’t even remember once you go crazy, you use your power completely freely. It would be harder for me to win over you like this than picking a star from the sky. Thank you Sian Berth! For letting me know my level… … .”
He stuck out his thumb and expressed his sincere gratitude to me.
“But don’t think it’s over! You should look forward to seeing me again! “Because you will meet me who has become several times, or even dozens, times stronger than I am now!”
“Have you not given up yet?”
“of course! Is a rival a rival for nothing? With the goal of surpassing you, I will become endlessly stronger! Stay alert, Sian!”
I burst out laughing without realizing it.
okay. This simple yet upright guy isn’t going to give up that easily.
Although it certainly felt like it was slippery, I didn’t think it was particularly bad.
“Being strong is good, but take care of your health first.”
“what?”
“It would be unfair if you caught a cold and died.”
“under! My body is stronger than a rock! “I am not weak enough to suffer from such a trivial disease!”
I don’t know that either.
Human tragedy is something no one can know when it will come.
Seeing that he was warming up again as if he had never done that before, it didn’t look like he was going to go back right away.
Leaving the guy smiling confidently alone, I turned and headed toward the academy.
-Hwiiing
The lonely night wind blowing from the front blew through my stuffy chest.
Why?
I don’t know why, but one side of my chest feels cold and stuffy.
He said he was going to leave because it wasn’t like anyone was dying and there was no need to stay, but he looked so sad that he couldn’t help but feel sad.
I couldn’t understand it at all.
Especially Princess Arin’s face… … .
Anyone who sees it will think the world has collapsed.
I couldn’t help but feel irritated by the sight of her constantly fluttering around.
[If you make that serious face, will you get food? Is rice cake coming out? Only wrinkles appear on the face.]
Kayram suddenly appeared and pointed out my pitiful appearance.
I don’t know why. It suddenly occurred to me that even if I were to be scolded by this perverted demon sword today, I wouldn’t have anything to say.
[Isn’t it amazing? The little things you thought weren’t a big deal are making me think of you a lot. Even though I don’t know the truth… … .]
“What do you want to say?”
[Do you think I don’t know you? You want to deny it. Things that don’t even know your true face are giving you equal attention.]
Isn’t it obvious?
If they find out that a seemingly ordinary academy student is actually a vicious assassin who has spilled the blood of tens of thousands of people, their eyes will change in an instant.
Since I didn’t know that, I was planning to leave without any regrets, saying it wasn’t my business anyway.
I don’t know why my chest feels so uncomfortable and stuffy.
“It’s pathetic… … .”
Those words were directed at me, not anyone else.
-Ssuk
One o’clock direction relative to the front.
I felt a familiar presence and immediately turned my head.
Without any need to confirm, I recognized that he was a member of the Mist.
“The head of the clan has instructed us to come to sub-space as soon as possible.”
As if he was in such a hurry, he immediately revealed the purpose of his visit.
“What is the reason?”
“It seems like we’ve found our target.”
The moment I heard the word target, my body reacted sharply like a wild animal that had found its prey.
This does not refer to a new purification target that has never existed before.
It means that someone has been found again that was previously missed and therefore must be eliminated.
The sense of life that had been dulled for a while began to well up in my body again.
“You found Boris?”
(Continued in the next part)
fantasy,
