How to Survive at the Academy Chapter 169

No hey, Ms. Yenika (2)

It’s been quite a while since I came into <Sylvania’s Failed Swordsman>, and I’ve been able to communicate with and build relationships with countless people in this world.

In the process, there are people who worked out well and became special friends, and there are many people who became a delicate relationship after being twisted and twisted.

That’s what human relationships are all about. You can’t get along well with everyone.

lived a busy life

He says he’s taking a break now, but there are only a handful of the days when he got a good night’s sleep while rolling and rolling after coming to Aken Island for the first time.

The reason I lived like that is simple. Because he had to survive.

Practical and realistic threats to life came several times every semester.

Running out of food, suffering from cold or heat, or getting sick… . Not only is there a threat to survival, but it is also accompanied by fighting the enemy at the risk of their lives in the scenario… Really, every moment was a series of threats.

Reality is different from movies.

Time passes and the seasons change even while holding on to the beating heart while enjoying the tightrope walking and enjoying the tightrope of relationships as if on a school trip.

While exchanging cheesy conversations and creating a plausible atmosphere, there is no maintenance of the cabin, no hunting traps that have been sown, or waiting for the game that has been caught to not rot.

I saw lovers exchanging words of love even on a battlefield where bullets flew.

It may be a beautiful love story of two lovers who resist harsh fate only in the movie.

However, the meaning of love on the battlefield in reality is nothing more and nothing less than weakness.

Tragedy in reality always happens suddenly without foreshadowing.

One day, when you see the face of your lover suddenly carried on a stretcher, when you see the beauty pierced by bullets and the ugly shape of the pupils… The emotion of love that was so longing turns into a curse and eats away at the body and mind.

He acted as if he was the main character of the world, but the spotlight never shined on himself.

Even the death of a lover is used as a passing scene, just like the deaths of other soldiers.

If you look at such a scene countless times, you will naturally realize whoever it is.

The situation where the knife blade entered right under the neck. If the time comes when you have to struggle in the face of death, you can survive only by focusing all your mind on survival.

How many times had I almost died on this journey to the Ross Taylor Mansion?

The reason why I was able to continue to survive in the midst of the threat of death is because I focused only on surviving itself.

Because of that longing for survival, my comrades always called me ‘c*ckroach’.

Even if you were tossed naked in the middle of the desert, you would somehow survive and die after being expelled.

I always self-suggest.

Prioritize your work and do the necessary things first. I am a mechanical device that must be rational and rational anytime, anywhere.

Whether it’s a battlefield where countless people die, or an academy full of love and romance.

If there is a knife under my throat right now, the first thing I need to worry about is surviving itself.

I lived thinking that way until I got out of the battlefield and the miasma eased a little, and I was rarely shaken.

The cold reason has always clearly judged the weight and priority of work.

― ‘A person whose heart is frozen.’

It wasn’t until then that the old story buried in the other side of my memory came to mind.

― ‘The harsh reality made you like that, but it’s not just cold snow and rain in the world. Unexpectedly, there are many clear sunny days and warm and cozy days.’

― ‘However, if you get used to looking up at the sky wet with rain and snow, it will rain tomorrow too… . It’s human psychology that makes you have no choice but to think.’

― ‘Someday, I hope you meet someone who can melt the thin ice in your heart like snow.’

Memories from the battlefield or memories after retirement. I don’t remember very well… It was a strangely sad voice.

― ‘Until then, even if it’s cold, keep your collar on and hold on well. You’re strong, so you can do enough.’

* * *

“Ed always has a lot of worries piled up, but this time it feels different.”

Over the bonfire, Yenica Failover spoke with a heavy and serious face.

Unfortunately, the reason why I am so embarrassed is not so heavy and serious. It’s simply because he’s thinking about how to react to Merilda’s whims.

If you go along with Merylda’s whim, who pushes her on the back to kiss Jenika, you might be able to get along well enough.

The time to be ashamed of kissing and to make a mess of one’s body has already passed. If he wanted to, he could grab Jenika’s lower chin right now and quickly thrust his lips into it.

However, shouldn’t we also consider Jenika’s position?

If you kiss right away, you’ll be confused about what this is.

Knowing that Merilda’s shallow whim had pushed her on the back and took my lips, I don’t think I’d ever feel amused.

The act of casually kissing a person in order to dig up information about the remains of the highest spirit that Merilda knows is… In a way, this is an irresponsible act.

If you don’t know someone who has never met you, Yenica Failover is a colleague who has lived with you for the longest time since I came to this world. She doesn’t want to be treated badly.

If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be just a matter of kissing people to people? Whatever Merilda’s whims may be, that’s aside.

well If you think about it again, it’s not like that again.

No matter what I thought, it was obvious that Jenika, having learned the truth, would think that I kissed Merilda on a whim.

Then there is only one remaining possibility.

She confessed all of this to Yenika and asked if she could kiss me as a favor.

… I’m not an expert on relationships, but I’m well aware that the last number is the worst.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you, Yenika.

After talking like that, I tried to gloss over the conversation with Yenika.

However, it seems to have conveyed a different meaning to Yenika, and suddenly her cheeks puffed out and her eyes widened.

“…really?”

Maybe I’m grumpy?

I thought it was a relationship where I could share everything, even the deepest parts of my inner self, but the fact that there is a part that is hidden in a crucial part is not accepted very pleasantly… Yenika started to grumble.

“Ugh!”

For a moment, Yenika stamped her feet and made strange noises.

From my point of view, I don’t really have anything to say. She has no choice but to stare at Yenika in embarrassment.

“…Ed, can I ask you a weird question this time?”

“…do whatever you want.”

“I’m thinking about whether it’s better to interrogate Ed some more and somehow get him to talk about his worries, or if it’s better to ignore him.”

“…Are you consulting me on that?”

Yenika grunted, but sighed deeply.

Then, as if choosing words, he looked up at the sky and lost himself in thought.

The sun is going down at some point. Actually, from my point of view, it feels like evening has finally arrived.

After entering the rest period, the day became noticeably longer. It feels luxurious to waste every day I spent saving by splitting it into several parts like this.

“I’m afraid Ed will be bothered.”

Suddenly, I wonder if I succeeded in condensing the selected words into one sentence… Yenika spoke again.

“what?”

“I don’t want to be a burden to Ed.”

Well, from my point of view, I don’t understand how he came to such a conclusion.

In fact, I always wanted the human named Yenica Failover to be helpful to me, but almost never harmed.

It’s not Yenika’s job to worry about being annoying or burdensome… Isn’t it a concern that the people around her who deal with Yenika should do?

When that kind of worry came out of an unexpected person, I looked at Yenika with an absurd look.

“Sir, your mind seems complicated… Ed.”

“No matter what I say, you will take it as polite comfort.

“Is that so…?”

“Well, at least I have no choice but to speak directly. It’s up to you how you take it.”

Having said that, I also talked casually while looking at the sky as the sun went down.

“You’ve never been a burden to me, Yenika.”

Don’t overdo it, but don’t overdo it either.

Telling the truth as it is is the answer to most problems in the world.

“It’s just like that.”

After hearing that, Yenika stared blankly at the fire for a while, then smiled softly.

Is it a feeling of satisfaction? Or is it a feeling of relief?

In fact, I can’t just pick one of them and talk about it. The human heart is like a roaring bonfire, shaking here and there.

Emotions are so complex that it is impossible to say with certainty what the psychology behind Yenika’s warm smile is.

The only good thing is that he doesn’t look worried.

“I see….”

In the words that followed, I realized that I had dug my own grave.

“Then I’ll interrogate Ed!”

“…what?”

“What are you worried about! What is it! Tell me quickly!”

Did you choose the wrong option?

Yenika is talking while waving her arms with a flushed face.

“Ed’s worries are mine too, so tell me quickly!”

Then, Jenika put down her cane and luggage, whimpered a simple wooden chair in the corner of the camp, and sat down in front of me.

With her back to the fire close by, it must have been quite hot behind her, but she didn’t care and sat with eye contact with me.

“…”

“I won’t move until you tell me.”

“Then I get a sweat stain on my back. Isn’t it stuffy…”

“It’s even more frustrating to see Ed worrying and worrying all alone!”

Upon reaching this point, Yenika seemed to be gritting her teeth as well, stepping on the floor and becoming more stubborn.

When you get to this point, you can’t say anything or just gloss over it. It should have never been brought up in the first place.

After pondering over and over again, I decided to open my mouth.

“Well, if you think about any problem together, you’ll be able to find a solution right away! Ed, don’t be sore inside yourself and tell me…”

“Can you kiss me once?”

Yenika couldn’t finish her words and froze in that posture.

* * *

“Me, Merilda too… Why did you say such useless things…”

Was the human skin color red rather than flesh?

Jenika, who had been stubborn right in front of me with her back to the bonfire just before, spread her distance as if she had done that before, and then went to a flat rock in the distance and turned and sat down. is just repeating the same words.

“Wow, that’s definitely something Ed would be worried about…. All because the person in question is in front…. No, but then, how far did Merylda talk…? Eh…?”

Seeing him talking nonsense to the point where I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or talking to himself, I couldn’t help but intervene.

However, the points I was worried about were conveyed without adding or subtracting.

Even if Merilda pushed her back and kissed Jenika, it would only be deceiving her.

I’m not a person who ate badly enough to play with people’s minds because they wanted something in return.

However, there is one thing that needs to be made clear here.

“I feel like I’m over-conscious, but if I’m going to hold back and talk about it…”

As I slowly opened my mouth, Yenika glanced back at me. The posture of sitting in the middle of the day is like being in an important place.

“That… I know… what… you have… feelings for me… I know roughly… It doesn’t make sense to not know.”

“S, stop! Mmm, stop for now!”

Yenika quickly averted her gaze, covering her mouth with a trembling hand.

It is pitiful to see them trembling and stepping on the poor soil as if they were herbivores in front of predators.

“Ed, I can’t breathe…”

“…”

“That, yes… well…! That’s right! Yes! I am… Um… How could I be so kind to Ed without any feelings?! Actually, it’s a natural story! It’s not like we’re talking awkwardly like this, right? Ooh, we’re all too You’ve grown up! Why are you acting so awkwardly! Oops! Oops!”

As he said that, his eyes were filled with the image of Jenika, who looked more nervous than anyone else in the world.

It must be because of that side of Yenika that she has no choice but to nod her head despite being evaluated as a girl who seems to have jumped out of a fairy tale.

However, if Yenika Failover is a girl like the main character in a fairy tale, then I am a c*ckroach struggling in the gutter of reality.

After chewing the cud, there is a visible part.

“I’m sorry. Because I’m this kind of guy.”

“Yes…?”

“Because I was so desperate to survive, I lived for a long time in an environment where everything else had to be postponed.”

On the other hand, it’s the weight of the tragedies I’ve seen.

Those who saw the sight of their loved one being carried on a stretcher with bullets to them collapsed together.

The reason why I had antipathy to such an appearance was not because I was pathetic to see him falling in love when the crisis of his life was right around the corner.

This is because for someone who may die at any moment to have affection with others, that in itself makes them bear the burden.

In a situation where I cannot even take responsibility for my own life, do I not think at all about the position of the person who will face my death?

The pain of a broken heart is temporary but heals someday, but much more often the pain of a loss lasts a lifetime.

It is more difficult to stand up after stepping on it, and it is usually easy to fall down without being able to overcome it.

Had I known that, I should have acted more carefully.

I shouldn’t have interacted with others carelessly.

have gone through many hardships.

The scenario was twisted a lot, and the development was twisted a lot, but… Anyway, I got here because I saved my life.

From the battle for imperial power, the family civil war, and even the subjugation of Velbroke. Even the remaining ordeals have been running for a long time, enough to be able to crush them with one hand, but as with ordeals, the ones that remain boast a harsher level of difficulty than the ones that have been overcome.

If I can finish all the trials and really get this Sylvania diploma in my hands.

If I could go out to the island of Aken with all the various abilities I had built up, a lot of history, and personal connections to live my life to the fullest… .

If I could manage all the disasters that were set in the scenario of <Sylvania’s Failed Sword Master> and be able to keep my feet in this world as myself… .

When that time comes, I will escape the fear of death… Will we be able to envision a bigger future?

Will there ever come a day when we can escape from worrying about ‘how to survive’ and cross over to worrying about ‘how to live’?

“Because I lived like that, I became this kind of person. I don’t have a particularly likable person.”

Throwing, throwing, and the sound of twigs burning in the campfire.

At some point, the sun was setting, and the energy of the night was creeping in little by little.

As always at night in the northern woods, it is truly peaceful from a distance.

In the meantime, this camp, naturally permeated, seemed to become part of the forest at some point.

“Don’t talk like that, Ed.”

Suddenly, Jenika looked at her and her expression became very calm. On the one hand, she looked sad.

The red energy has also gone down a lot, and it feels like I’ve regained my composure quite a bit.

“Ed isn’t as cold-blooded as you think.”

“Thank you for doing that, even if it means talking.”

“It’s not just words. Ed said that earlier. I’m worried that whatever he says will be taken as polite consolation. That’s exactly how I feel right now.”

Yenika turned around again and looked straight at me.

“The reason Ed was so worried and embarrassed was because he wanted to be considerate of me. Like Ed said, if he kissed Merylda on a whim, I would have felt very strange.

“…”

“Oh, that’s a bit of an overstatement… ha, anyway… Ed was right. Surely… Meh, Merylda! You did such a stupid thing! Guess, it’s okay… You made me worry about this!”

Once again, Yenika’s lips quivered and she began to suck in her breath.

“Anyway… please ignore what I just said, Yenika. I said it, but kissing you like this isn’t polite to you, and there’s no need to play around with Merilda’s whims.”

“Eh, Ed… But, the remains of the spirit Merilda said… are you really needing them?”

The remains of the highest spirits.

It’s a mysterious artifact that will drastically increase the stats related to spiritism, which is slowly growing, but… There were many ways to find out by roasting Merilda.

There is no reason to stick to this method.

“I’ll figure it out on my own, so you just… pretend you didn’t hear. Actually, you’re fine, and I wasn’t okay before. I don’t really want to use you as a means of use.”

“Eh, Ed. I’m happy to say that, but… Actually, I came up with a groundbreaking method.”

“…what?”

Yenika caught her breath and continued in a hesitant tone, as if reading awkward lines.

“In short, didn’t Ed think that way out of consideration for me? Even if I told him I’m fine, he didn’t want to do something disgusting like using me…?”

After saying that, Yenika swooped down from the rock and came over to talk to me.

“Actually, the solution is easier than you think.”

“I’m anxious…”

“Yeah, you can change the subject of action…”

“what?”

“Not with Ed, but with me.”

It happened before I could even answer what that meant.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and my breathing stopped for a second.

As for Yenika, she has a timid disposition and often hesitates in everything.

However, weren’t there many times when the situation reached an extreme or when a quick decision was needed, and there were also times when he showed bold determination.

I didn’t know that such a temperament would work this far.

For a while, only the chirping of grass bugs spread through the forest. Other than that, there is only silence.

He had only two mouths to speak with, for both were blocked.

“Huh…”

After paying the bill, Yenika quickly backed away, covering her mouth and breathing alone.

He opened his eyes wide and glanced at me a few times, then he was giving me a stiff bend on his shoulder as if he had worked.

“…That… Yeni….”

“Ugh! I’m tired! I’m so tired after coming by boat from my hometown! I think I’m going to fall asleep! See you tomorrow!”

Before I could say anything, Jenika made a fuss and ran into her cabin.

It was because breathing quickened even if we just made eye contact.

Then, with a bang, the cabin door slammed shut.

“no….”

Left alone in front of the campfire, I stared at the poker on the floor.

“…look at this….”

Shouldn’t I be given some time to talk about my position as well?

It was like a thunderbolt from my point of view… It was difficult to grasp the situation right away.

anyway… There is a strange feeling of awkwardness.

The problem is that Yenika and I are cohabitants who live next door.

It was good to see Jenika, who would raise her shoulders and make a fuss even when her eyes met. I have to live seeing her face from tomorrow… It was a huge accident.

If I had put a steel plate on my face and asked if it was okay, I would have responded appropriately.

If you run away like this… What do I mean… .

Concerned right from tomorrow morning, I swept my face over and over again.