How to Survive as a Player Chapter 53

#53

Just as much as others do. Why was it so difficult, why was it so far away, everything was difficult for Sehyeon. So he was always worse than others, had nothing more than others, and was lonelier than others.

So I hoped it would be different at least in Elix. I wanted them to be special people, not insignificant people like me or people who can’t achieve anything, and I worked hard for that.

I thought you gave me a lot of love. There were times when I wondered if it was right to give something like this because I had never received it before, but I tried my best to convey my feelings and was sincere at every moment.

But it didn’t take long to realize that it was just my effort.

‘This wasn’t it.’

The day I heard those hateful words, I curled up in my blanket and cried all night, just as I had when I first became independent. The loneliness that was crushing on me came back to life with just those words. The feeling of being left alone in the world. A feeling of betrayal, like being ignored. Everything was intertwined and I had no talent to overcome it.

So I had no choice but to leave Elix. He hesitated several times after closing, but in the end he couldn’t log in because he couldn’t forget those words.

How long will I have to live like this? There was no answer to the words that were repeated hundreds and thousands of times.

Actually, I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know. I think the reason I couldn’t do that was because I was lacking a lot.

I felt a hand wiping my cheek through the stinging sunlight. Sehyeon noticed a hand wiping away his sunken eyes and forced his eyes to open. The fluttering eyelashes were heard, and two blackened eyes were exposed to the sunlight.

Every time I blinked once or twice, my vision became clear. And when it became clear, Sehyeon could see the rising morning sun. The shape of the sun rising in a quiet world was so strikingly similar to the Earth that I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

Everything was quiet. Even the pain was quiet. My head was clear, and I could feel, smell, and touch everything clearly.

Sehyeon suddenly realized the warmth of the big embrace and looked up. And from there, I came across eyes of a different color looking at me just as I had opened them. Even he was quiet. It was languid and calm.

Sehyeon was about to say something, but he just kept his mouth shut. When his hand, which had been stroking the area around his eyes, disappeared, his tired complexion came into view.

Ruhak closed his eyes with a long sigh. The strange feeling I got was when I saw his wings scattered all over the bed. Wings of different colors. But it was subtly different. His white wings became more dull. It wasn’t an illusion. The moment Sehyeon realized that the wings had become cloudy, almost black-gray, he laughed helplessly.

I hurt you again.

The scenes of constantly taking opium were now passing by like a flash of light. The opium we took together. I finally realized the meaning of the pain that seemed to evaporate every time his hand touched it.

“… why… .”

Sehyun’s eyes suddenly distorted. She tried to suppress her emotions, but it was no use. When she pulled out of her firm embrace and pulled her wings to check, the situation turned out to be just as she had expected.

“under… .”

They were pure white wings. The clean, spotless color I saw before taking the medicine was just right. I pulled the other wing to check and it was the same. Nothing was tainted.

“… this… What are we going to do? .”

The time I was drunk on opium came back painfully. The pain he said he would overcome ended up falling on Ruhak. His cloudy wings showed that.

“What should we do… “Are you sure?”

Ruhak was speechless. He just quietly faced the questioning gaze. But the moment he looked away, he stood up. He picked up his disheveled clothes and crossed the room, passing Sehyeon without a second thought.

“You seem to have no awareness, so let me give you a warning.”

Ruhak cried out without even showing signs of fatigue. It was a cold voice that reminded me of the heaviness of this place.

“It would be good to quickly realize what kind of position you are sitting in. Because the empire is not so generous as to tolerate such recklessness. Or do you think the empire is your exclusive domain? Don’t be mistaken. “It was the vassals who led the empire, not you.”

It was a barrage of advice and criticism to Se-hyeon, who had carelessly risked his life. It wasn’t just Se-hyeon’s life that was at stake whenever the moment of his death came. The lives of countless vassals and the future of the empire.

Sehyeon forgot and overlooked it, putting the empire in danger several times.

“You must also take into account the unfair position of your vassals who are fighting today and tomorrow with just your life. “Isn’t that so?”

“… “It sounds like I wanted to die.”

“You’re talking like it’s not true.”

Sehyeon’s eyes closed darkly. There was nothing left to refute. Reckless, foolish, selfish actions. He couldn’t deny it with any words.

“The vassals will be happy to see that. “You never know, you too might think it’s better than dirty.”

The popularity disappeared with the sound of the door. Only after being left alone in the quiet room did Sehyun reach out to the bed. Even his hair, flowing out of sight, was a brilliant blonde.

Sehyun grabbed what she could see with her hands. It was Ruhak’s dulled wing feathers. No matter how long he had been here, black and gray feathers were lying tangled in the place where he was.

It was a color that seemed to deepen the hatred. Sehyeon picked them up one by one and held them in his hands.

“… “I couldn’t have hoped for it.”

I know very well that the vassals could not have wanted to see things like this. If that were the case, attribute fusion itself would not have been recommended in the first place. So what he said could only be an insult to Sehyun.

Only the deeply sunken eyes faced the change.

In the end, it wasn’t like that.

***

Dalkak-

At the sound of the door opening, Sehyeon, who was crouching on the bed, turned her attention to the person pulling the wagon. There was steaming food on the wagon.

The man who came in with the wagon set the food on the table on one side of the room, then bowed politely and walked away.

“… … .”

Meals come three times a day, at set times. It was fancy at first, but after Sehyun ate one bite and vomited it up on the first day, it turned into soup and porridge.

When the room became quiet, Sehyun got up from the bed and headed to where the food was prepared. I hadn’t eaten properly for two days, so it was difficult to even stand. Of course, it wasn’t intentional.

widely-

I sat down, picked up a spoon, and took a sip of the foul-smelling soup. And I took a few deep breaths. As soon as his mind was ready, Sehyun put the spoon in his mouth.

First, I had to eat. As soon as I could eat and move even a little, I had to find my companions. However, as soon as Se-hyeon took a sip, he started to feel nauseous and spit out his food.

“Cold, cold… !”

It was like this for several days. I tried to eat it, but everything was disgusting and fishy, ​​so I couldn’t swallow it. On days when I forced myself to swallow and sleep, I would get sick at night and even feel nauseous.

At first, I thought Ruhak did it on purpose, but after seeing the food that changed frequently, my thoughts changed. The food was changing to the point where I could feel the obsession with trying to feed Sehyeon somehow.

However, Sehyeon has not been able to eat any food since the day he completed attribute fusion. It was two days, no, today was the third day.

I had a guess, but it wasn’t accurate. Whenever Se-hyeon came in and saw the man fidgeting every time he left food, it seemed like he was worried, but he didn’t talk to me first or come over to take care of me. He just glanced at Sehyeon, said a polite greeting, and then disappeared.

This part was most likely Ruhak’s instructions.

“under… driving me crazy.”

Sehyeon eventually had to put down the spoon after knitting a few more times. My eyes began to spin, but since there was nothing I could eat, it felt like death.

Ruhak did not come to visit for two days. While Ruhak was away, Sehyun had confirmed the changes that had occurred in her body.

‘Black Heaven’. The race I checked by opening the stat window was indeed the Black Heavenly Race according to the Empire’s wishes. However, the only thing that changed was the darker eyes, and no specific skills or stats increased.

The changed eyes were not pitch black, but a color close to gray. Other than that, the blonde hair and wings were the same. Sehyeon considered this change a failure.

but.

“… Even back then, it wasn’t just me… .”

Originally, we were going to drink together. There were two drugs prepared from the beginning. However, the only one I could drink was Ruhak. The ‘attribute fusion medicine’ was not applied to Sehyeon. The only thing that appeared on the game screen was [This item cannot be used].

With that in mind, it was when I took the medicine with Ruhak. No, to be exact, I could only drink Ruhak.

Even when Ruhak completed attribute fusion and became a Black Heavenly Clan, there was no change in Sehyeon’s character. However, according to Ruhak’s race, all the vassals of the empire became the Black Heavenly Tribe. The same was true for the new vassals coming from the dimensional gap.

I knew that in Elix, the empire’s vassals were summoned according to the archduke’s race. I thought that the reason Sehyun deviated from that condition was because the game processor that protects the load player blocked it, but now my thoughts have changed a lot.

Maybe it didn’t change because it wasn’t ‘real’. For example, the current Sehyeon’s race has been changed from the Heavenly Geum tribe to the Black Heavenly tribe.

Probably because it’s ‘real’.