#36
It was a hot day when I bought ice cream and went home. Lee Jae-young answered his brother’s question as he looked at the setting sky more brightly and cheerfully than anyone else.
“I think you should like me too! And the spiky tentacles are cute, and the eyes that seem to pop out and the horns on the back are also cute. I haven’t done anything bad, but I feel bad for getting beaten every day. “The monsters actually want to get along, but maybe that’s why they don’t speak well.”
“Our Jaeyoung will grow up to be a good person.”
“huh! And I’m only telling this to my brother… You know, the Demon that came out yesterday. Actually, there were teeth between the tails. But the reason I didn’t use it was because I didn’t want to hurt the hero. Could it be that he actually felt that people were different when he saw them? “That’s why he got hurt.”
“Nothing else is bad, right?”
“huh. Later, I plan to create a monster empire and gather children to raise them. So I’m collecting stickers now. When I collect them all, I’ll show them to my brother! I don’t like humanoids because they’re ugly… Uh, I’ll still accept someone who looks like my brother.”
For Lee Jae-young, his older brother was a shelter. He was a friend, a parent. Every time his friends pointed at him, he would come home crying and fighting, and he would always be pampered by his older brother. Then, one day, he got into a big fight with his friend, throwing punches indiscriminately, and as the incident escalated, the school demanded that his guardian be summoned.
It was Lee Jae-young’s older brother who was summoned as his guardian. He found out only then. In front of adults, my brother is still small and young. It was only after seeing his older brother, who had become smaller due to the shouts of the other person using a pointer, that Jaeyoung Lee realized that his older brother’s hands, body, and back were small.
When Jaeyoung Lee came home, he hugged his older brother and cried so hard that he wondered if he had ever cried as much as he did that day. His brother said it was okay, but he couldn’t forgive himself for making his brother miserable.
That was when I started hiding my inclinations and tastes. In order to fit in with others, I followed what the public liked and tried to fit in within that framework.
Aside from occasionally going out with my older brother to buy monster toy toys, my life took a different direction than before. Still, it was a day where he could breathe and live.
Unlike Lee Jae-young, my older brother’s health got worse day by day. He coughed so much that he couldn’t sleep at night, and he had to go to the hospital more often. One day, I started hearing my parents’ voices frequently, persuading me to quit school.
It seemed like something he shouldn’t have heard, so Jaeyoung Lee just pretended not to notice. Still, the thought of caring for his brother was stronger than anyone else’s. He shouldn’t give his brother a hard time, he thought.
Even on that day when it was snowing heavily, I actually had to hold my brother’s hand. However, he could not drag his older brother, who was coughing badly, out of the house, so he left a note next to his older brother’s bed. On that day at the age of 10, he left home alone with the money in his hand.
It was because there was a monster toy I wanted to buy. He wanted to take it home and show off to his brother. I wanted to tell him that he wasn’t a child anymore and not to worry.
But when I came home with the toys, my brother was not there. The note left next to his brother’s bed was left in the same condition as before.
I felt anxious, so I threw away my toys and left the house. As he ran through the snow-filled road and came out onto the main road, Lee Jae-young could see his older brother stumbling towards him, coughing.
He was looking for Lee Jae-young without even wearing his outer clothes. Because he was scared of his brother coughing with a very hoarse throat, Lee Jae-young froze in place and couldn’t move.
The moment his excited face turned to Lee Jae-young, relief and anger appeared in his brother’s eyes. Then, he realized. That heaven was trying to take his brother away.
The fierce shout of his older brother running towards him made Jaeyoung Lee terrified. It was nothing else. I was scared that something would go wrong with his brother. I became scared of everything, the shadow that filled his face, as if it seemed like it was going to take my brother away.
“Jaeyoung Lee, you… ! Cough… ! Cough, Cough… you… without saying… Cough… I can’t believe how worried my brother was… Cough… !”
“Huh… brother… It’s my fault… . Brother, stop talking. Do not say!”
At that young age, I cried and cried, grabbed my older brother, and headed home. That was all Jaeyoung Lee could do. He couldn’t talk about the note.
Lee Jae-young’s anxiety came true in the early morning of that day. When Jaeyoung Lee woke up to the bustle, strangers came into the house. Jaeyoung Lee had to look with blank eyes as people passed by his sobbing parents and carried his unconscious older brother away.
My brother was taken straight to the hospital. Lee Jae-young was left alone at home. Jaeyoung Lee cried from dawn until dawn.
The thought of not being able to protect him and the thought that my selfish actions had caused my brother to become like that were intertwined like a sense of guilt. I just felt like everything was my fault. My older brother was taken to the hospital and was diagnosed with acute pneumonia.
The sight of my brother lying dead, wearing a breathing apparatus, seemed like a different person. Jaeyoung Lee hated that solemn place, and he hated the faint smell of disinfectant and the sounds of machines. What he hated more was the doctor’s words telling him to prepare his mind.
Having made a fuss about not being able to accept it, my brother passed away within a week. At first he couldn’t believe it and couldn’t cry. He was just staring blankly at his older brother’s peacefully sleeping face while his parents were sobbing.
Until yesterday, we definitely looked into each other’s eyes and talked, but I didn’t know it would be the last time. When I heard my brother holding my hand tightly and talking to me, I really thought everything would be okay.
‘It’s okay…’ It’s okay. My brother… always… Stay together… I’ll give… .’
I really had no idea that the words I heard through the respiratory tract would be my last words. His hard words were full of sincerity, so Lee Jae-young believed them, and returned home at the end of the day, pampering his older brother.
It was around 6 a.m. the next morning when the news of the death came. I didn’t know it would go like this.
In the end, Jaeyoung Lee had to send his older brother away in the cold wind in the fall when he was 10 years old. He cried profusely, remembered his brother enough to not regret it, and eventually let him go.
And from that day on, Jaeyoung Lee stopped collecting monster toys. The stickers that he said he would show to him when he collected them all were thrown away on the day he sent his brother away. It seemed like atonement, so he didn’t even bother to look at it.
For four years, I tried so hard to suppress and avoid it. He became a loner who could not get along with anyone, and the atmosphere in the house became cold. The gaze returned to Lee Jae-young was not bright.
It was around that time that I met Elix. It was a day when being left alone at home became a daily routine, with only the occasional communication that I was alive. Unable to bear the loneliness, she was surfing the Internet and saw something as if she were possessed. She took out the game driver she had bought a while ago, downloaded the game, and accessed it.
That was Elix.
When he first entered Elix after completing the aptitude test, Jaeyoung Lee was so shocked by the appearance of the character that seemed to reflect his inner self that he was unable to access the game for a while.
It was also the first day I cried a lot in a long time. After a few days, my emotions were sorted out and I had no desire to connect. No, actually, I was scared. Facing your inner self.
When a week had passed, Jaeyoung Lee opened the built-in closet again to remove the game drive. It was at that time that a crumpled letter appeared in my eyes as I woke up after roughly throwing the actuator.
When I pulled it out and opened the letter, my brother’s neatly written handwriting caught my eye. Lee Jae-young’s tears fell on the letter paper.
It was a letter that his older brother gave him when he bought him a monster toy on Jaeyoung Lee’s 8th birthday. In it, the older brother’s warm thoughts for his less fortunate younger brother were written.
[Jaeyoung, you are always on Jaeyoung’s side. No matter what anyone says, I hope Jaeyoung lives happily doing everything he wants to do and achieve. Well, I bought the ugliest one… Are you fine? -Jaehyung who loves Jaeyoung-]
Lee Jae-young hugged the letter tightly and sat like that for a long time, putting his mind to rest. After a while, he took out the actuator and left the room, holding his letter in his arms.
It was only after reading my brother’s letter that I realized that my desire for atonement was wrong. Jaeyoung Lee rubbed the area around his eyes. Now I wanted to be a little more honest. He wanted to release himself a little from what he had been suppressing and ignoring. So he raised Elix and founded a monster empire, hoping to show off to his older brother. He wanted to keep the promise he had made when he was young.
And therein, I encountered my brother’s voice again.
‘It’s okay, don’t cry. My brother… My brother will be by your side.’
A person who was like his older brother in everything. A person who even has a similar smile. Even though he knew he wasn’t his older brother, Lee Jae-young saw him as his older brother. He was a weak, sweet and gentle person. It hurt every time he overlapped with his older brother, but on the contrary, he felt that his breathing, which had been so tight until now, was freed.
So I wanted to protect it. This time, I promised myself that I would never hurt anyone, that I didn’t want to lose someone precious to me, so I decided to become stronger and protect them.
Lee Jae-young, who had hurt his older brother in those young days, was no more.
‘I… I have to protect it.’
King of the monster empire Yumka, ranked 3rd in the empire rankings. The child who knew nothing but monsters was following his older brother’s footsteps.
That was the reason why Lee Jae-young protected a person named Do Se-hyeon.
