24. Whatever the Intention (1)
1 year ago.
Lee Jeong-min had clear memories of that time.
After the disciplinary committee concluded and he thanked Kim Hyun-seong, he was met with a completely unexpected reaction.
“The bastard who pretended not to notice until the disciplinary committee was over now asks me what I’m thankful for. “Please explain.”
It was cold.
Lee Jeong-min was left speechless by the cold eyes looking at him.
It wasn’t that I didn’t understand Kim Hyun-seong’s reaction.
While helping him, he was taken to the disciplinary committee, but the victim, who was the starting point of the incident, refused to testify and took a step back. Kim Hyun-seong took on all responsibility. Lee Jeong-min returned to his seat with his head down, but his emotions could not calm down due to the whispering glances of those around him.
‘So what should I do? ‘In the end, I was just a victim.’
Tears welled up.
I also wanted to be just like Kim Hyun-seong.
I myself hoped to be the kind of person who would not tolerate injustice when he saw it and would raise his voice for what he thought was right.
however.
Isn’t reality reality?
When the disciplinary committee first convened, no one in Cheonil expected Kim Hyun-sung to avoid disciplinary action. Jeong Min-ho’s parents were wealthy people known in Daesan, and Principal Oh Dae-hwan openly took Jeong Min-ho’s side. If Kim Hyun-seong had been labeled as a perpetrator and kicked out of school, Lee Jeong-min would have been left alone in Cheonil and had to deal with the malice of Park Min-cheol’s gang again.
Suddenly, I got scared.
I wasn’t confident.
In my head, there was nothing I couldn’t do for Kim Hyun-seong, but my lips couldn’t even move to tell the truth. She pursed her lips. She felt like doing nothing was the only way to survive.
‘Other kids are the same. No one helped me when I was being bullied, and no one wanted to testify even though they knew why the incident occurred. It’s probably the same thing. Since they are not parties, they probably do not even consider the idea of telling the truth justly like you, Kim Hyun-seong.’
Hyunseong Kim is amazing.
It could not be said that it was an unreasonable response for the person involved to take a step back, as other people stood by.
Even so.
Are Kim Hyun-seong’s remarks wrong?
That’s not it.
Absolutely not.
As tears welled up, Lee Jeong-min knew the truth.
‘You’re amazing.’
From the moment you stepped up for yourself.
From the moment I gained courage for others.
Kim Hyun-seong was the only person in this classroom with the qualifications to swear at himself.
* * *
Disciplinary committee case.
The school landscape has changed.
As Kim Hyun-seong naturally dominated the first-year students, Lee Jeong-min was ostracized at some point.
When friends gather in groups of twos and threes.
He glanced at Lee Jeong-min and whispered.
“Isn’t that really selfish?”
“therefore. Kim Hyun-seong fought to the point of blood and went all the way to the disciplinary committee, saying he would help others, but how can he back out, saying he only cares for his own safety? This is why there is a saying not to harvest his black-haired beast. If you are human, if conscience exists. At least you shouldn’t live like ‘Lee Jeong-min’.”
“I feel sorry for Hyeonseong. “You made that mess for that bastard.”
Their accusations.
their gaze.
It turned into a sharp arrow and pierced my chest.
I knew that I was ashamed of my actions, so I wanted to find a hole and hide every time someone’s eyes were on me. It was a different pain than when I was being bullied. At least back then, his friends looked at him with pity, but now he felt like he was completely out of the group.
‘The only thing left for me now is studying. Okay, let’s just focus on studying.’
I gritted my teeth.
Someday, when I graduate from high school.
If you get into a good university that others can’t get into.
Isn’t there a new future waiting for you?
In a corner of the classroom, out of sight of his friends, Lee Jeong-min concentrated on his studies while suffering from a nosebleed.
In the past, I still enjoyed hanging out with friends and playing games, but now I am completely absorbed in the sole purpose of getting good grades. I felt like my life would fall apart if I couldn’t achieve even that. He devoted himself to studying like that, and when the second semester midterm exam was finally over, Lee Jeong-min got the grade he wanted.
‘I’m ranked 3rd in the whole school.’
The hand holding the test paper was shaking.
I was happy.
No, I had to be happy.
The miserable feeling still hadn’t gone away, but I hoped to gain at least a glimmer of hope through the test paper.
I wanted to breathe.
A few days after that.
Lee Jeong-min immediately prepared for the next test.
One day, when I was determined to come in first place this time, an incident suddenly occurred.
“real?”
“Kim Hyun-seong said he went to the incinerator with his seniors.”
“It’s really f*cked up. “Kim Hyun-seong wouldn’t be able to handle it all on his own.”
The school was turned upside down.
On the day that Kim Hyun-seong defeated his second-year seniors and even Shin Young-min, his friends were worried about Kim Hyun-seong, even at the starting point of the incident. It was a natural reaction. It is common sense that even Shin Young-min cannot handle it, but Kim Hyun-sung’s move to fight the entire Cheonil was nothing but reckless.
Lee Jeong-min also played.
Down the window.
Kim Hyun-seong appeared.
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‘Dangerous!’
My eyes were red and bloodshot.
Just like that day.
Like that time when I didn’t appear before the disciplinary committee.
I did not want to ignore Kim Hyun-seong’s difficulties.
My hands were shaking.
Lee Jeong-min felt like he was going crazy just thinking about the future he would have to deal with because of his actions.
Squeeze.
I dialed the number with difficulty.
I was planning to report it to 112.
After dialing the number, Lee Jeong-min looked at Kim Hyun-seong with a pale face.
It took courage.
I needed strength to dial the number.
If a truly dangerous situation were to arise, I would really close my eyes.
however.
however… … .
It was different from what I expected.
It deviated from common sense.
Kim Hyun-seong defeated his second-year seniors and Bae Seong-ho, and even defeated Shin Young-min.
The sound of an arm breaking and Shin Young-min’s piercing scream echoed in fear throughout the school.
At that sight.
Lee Jeong-min felt a feeling that could not be described in words.
* * *
Back to the present.
Jeongmin Lee said.
“… … Actually, I wanted to tell you my true feelings earlier, but I couldn’t find the courage because I knew what you thought of me. Because it’s true that I did you wrong back then. From that day on, I’ve been like a ghost in this school. “No one is happy with me because of what I did.”
It was a strange atmosphere.
Even as he talked about the lonely and difficult past year, Lee Jeong-min did not have a very dark expression on his face.
“But you know what’s really funny? There I am. I’ve been so happy for the past year. Even though I didn’t have any friends at this school for a while and was just staring at the blackboard by myself every day, I was so happy that I didn’t even feel any resentment. If you think about it, when you were bullied by Park Min-cheol’s gang. It wasn’t just that I didn’t have friends back then. No one came close to me for fear of being caught by Park Min-cheol’s gang if they hung out with me, and I was suffocated at the thought of being bullied every time I had a break. “After school, I was taken away by Park Min-cheol’s gang and tormented until the end of the day, and when I returned home, I had to do the homework they gave me.”
My voice trembled.
When I thought about the past, my emotions suddenly surged.
“At least I am now. You don’t get bullied like that. You may not be loved by everyone, but it’s not so painful that you think about suicide. Hyunseong. I really, truly wanted to say thank you. “Thanks to you for eliminating school violence in this school, I can at least breathe.”
Friends who followed Lee Jeong-min.
time goes by.
Emotions fade.
These were friends who reached out to Lee Jeong-min.
I knew that Lee Jeong-min was cowardly and wrong, but I made new friends who understood that.
Because they were equally cowardly.
I understood Lee Jung-min.
The past year has not been an entirely unhappy time for Lee Jeong-min.
Hyunseong Kim didn’t say anything.
I stared at Lee Jeong-min.
All I could do was listen to Lee Jeong-min pouring out his emotions.
Jeongmin Lee said.
“Even if I go back to that time. Even if I knew that you would wipe out Park Min-cheol’s entire gang at the disciplinary committee, I can’t say with confidence that you would make a different choice. Because I am a coward. Because I’m not as great as you. But please know this one thing. All together.”
Not just one person.
Everything that exists in the classroom.
Everyone’s eyes focused on Lee Jeong-min’s remarks.
“I am truly grateful to you. “Thanks to you, I was able to avoid dying.”
* * *
Lee Jeong-min’s actions.
That was the catalyst.
As the rumor that Kim Hyun-seong was leaving Cheonil became almost certain, friends began to visit him, saying that his break was far away.
“Hyunseong, thank you.”
“I know that? I was in the seat in front of Kang Chang-seok. He beat me on the back of the head every day, telling me that he couldn’t sleep if I didn’t straighten my back, and when he told me to buy something, I had to rush over and spit out all my money. So I really hated school. “If Kang Chang-seok was still in school, I wouldn’t be this happy now.”
“Thanks to you. “Thanks to you defeating Shin Young-min, I was able to graduate from this school safely.”
Hyunseong Kim.
It was an out-of-this-world existence.
After defeating Shin Young-min and taking over Cheon-il, I couldn’t even think of approaching Kim Hyun-seong, who was my senior and friend. However, it wasn’t that I had any ill feelings towards him. Everyone welcomed Kim Hyun-sung’s new world, a world where bullying was no longer allowed.
A space called school.
How can you be this happy?
Just the fact that no one can hit people carelessly makes the school so peaceful.
I just didn’t say anything.
Everyone was grateful.
A series of situations.
As Kim Hyun-seong, I felt a strange feeling.
‘I didn’t mean to help my friends. It’s not that I want to root out school violence and benefit everyone, I just hate the scumbags who lead school violence. But do I deserve to be told this much gratitude? I did it all for my own personal revenge, but it’s as if I took on the hardship for everyone.’
From the point of returning to the past.
Hyunseong Kim was consistent.
His own malice.
I didn’t want it to be expressed in good faith.
I didn’t want the miserable feelings of falling to the bottom of life to be expressed in even the slightest positive way.
When you laugh and talk with people.
When you get praised for doing a good job.
Emotions may fade.
In order not to deviate from the single purpose of revenge, I needed to have a firm control over myself.
I received compliments.
School is over.
I was about to go home, but to my surprise, the happenings at school did not end there.
“… … Are you Kim Hyun-seong?”
It was a friend whose face I did not know.
Plus, this is my first time seeing a school uniform.
The friend, who seemed to have waited until school was over, spoke with a very serious expression.
“I heard about it. I heard you are transferring to a new school. So I really wanted to come to you in person and say thank you. Thanks to you, I was able to avoid dying. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
“Why is that thanks to me?”
I was very annoyed.
A reason to say thank you.
know.
I understand.
But I didn’t want to hear any more.
To say thank you, to the gazes that try to cover up one’s malice with good intentions.
Kim Hyun-seong didn’t want to face it.
Malice had to remain malice.
I hoped so.
“I didn’t come here with the intention of helping you. I just didn’t want to see those bastards, and I ended up like this because I wanted to prove that I was strong. So, there’s no need to say thank you for coming here.”
I knew it myself.
It’s so shabby.
The person who was struggling so hard was, after all, just an 18-year-old high school student.
Even though it was said that dozens of years had accumulated layer by layer that others did not know about, Kim Hyun-sung’s world always stayed there.
I took a step.
I was just going to pass this by.
however.
The friend whose face I didn’t know said.
“It doesn’t matter what your intention was.”
Stand tall.
I stopped walking.
When we made eye contact, the sincerity in his eyes sent ripples through my heart.
“We regained peace because of you. That’s enough. “We are just thankful for that fact.”
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