Chapter 487
Even if he tried to help with the work, he did not know how to do things like leather trimming or tanning, so he only did work that required simple labor.
That’s why I couldn’t help the work all day even if I helped.
Helping with the work did not mean giving up personal training altogether.
I don’t know what immobility is, but I tried to do it with the feeling that it was to control the flow of magic, not to emit it, unlike the magical power enhancement so far.
However, it was difficult to see it as personal training.
Because Lena and Arta always come to see what I do.
“Are you a teenager?”
“… … .”
I’ve almost forgotten about it these days, but when I hear things like that from Arta, a certain emotion that I had forgotten suddenly surged up in my heart.
Do you actually know how old I am, you bastard?
Words like that come out of nowhere and then go in.
Still a teenager
In the first place, just looking at this state, puberty has already passed!
Seeing my expression, Arta giggled.
“No, why are you so angry? So it’s not going to happen.”
“Doesn’t it look like a lot now?”
This bastard, at first I thought it was a Dum Dum chung attribute, but it wasn’t at all.
The side keeps throwing a word or two at a time to make people angry.
Of course, if you really stick to it, I can step on it, but it’s not like the Temple days.
In fact, it was like watching and telling me what to do, so it didn’t really upset me.
In fact, I didn’t have anything to say even if I heard that I was puberty unless I knew that the ferocious flames of my magical power enhancement were in response to my emotions.
“Don’t try to keep it under control as you unleash all your magic. You are not yet capable of that level. First of all, I need to increase the amount of mana gradually and then get used to fully controlling it while strengthening the appropriate amount.”
“Shit, I know that.”
“You know, why don’t you do that?”
“So, at what age… … !”
I was about to shout nervously, but I kept my mouth shut.
I know that growing little by little is the best for now.
But just like that, when and in what time period will I be able to completely control all of my mighty magic power?
In the end, you can’t throw away your nervousness.
When I suddenly tried to break out, Arta patted Lena and said.
“Right? Is she very angry?”
“You stop scratching Reinhardt!”
-match!
“100 million!”
In the end, Lena got angry.
* * *
“I am calm.”
“I get peace of mind.”
“I am calm.”
“I get peace of mind… … .”
“I am silent.”
As I muttered these words blankly while sitting still in the clearing, Artha’s complexion turned white.
“… … Hey, I’m sorry. It was too bad.”
Arta apologized over and over, probably thinking that I was talking nonsense because I had gone crazy.
no.
I’m just wondering if I can force myself to get some peace of mind by mixing autosuggestions and utterances. Isn’t that crazy?
“Maybe I should get some rest… … ?”
Lena probably thought my actions were a product of madness, so she invited me with a blue complexion.
okay.
I couldn’t deny that repeating to myself that I was calm was something that would lead to delirium.
* * *
The place where Lena and Arta took me to take a break was the outskirts of Lizaira.
-Shoot it
I had no idea that there would be a waterfall of this size in a place like this, so I had no choice but to stare blankly at it.
At the bottom of the valley, villagers were washing clothes, and children were swimming in a deep valley with waterfalls pouring down.
Come to think of it, it was summer.
It wasn’t that I didn’t know it at all, but it dawned on me that I was barely aware of the season.
“Did you go inside?”
“No, not really.”
I declined Arta’s invitation.
“Do you hate swimming?”
“I hate kids.”
“ah… … .”
At my answer, Lena nodded her head a little stunned.
– Die!
– Oh stop!
I didn’t think it would bother me as much if they clung to me while swimming with the kids splashing around in the valley.
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I remember following Olivia to the orphanage.
Even back then, I was in trouble because the kids were clinging to me, and I remembered how Olivia laughed as if it was fun when she saw me like that.
those children.
How did it go?
“… … .”
The more I thought about everything that had happened in the ecliptic, the more desperate I felt.
When I said that I hate children, Arta clicked her tongue.
“He seems to be the exact opposite of Ellen, but does he have similarities? Isn’t it?”
“hmm… … . Could it be?”
“Did Ellen hate kids too?”
At my question, Lena put her hand to her lips and tilted her head.
“Rather than hating it, it was difficult, right?”
I didn’t expect her to be lively in her hometown, but I wonder if Ellen lived with that carefree attitude here as well.
Arta looks at the splashing children.
“Originally, it wasn’t like that. He played well with the kids, even though he didn’t talk much, he went out to play with us and played with the kids. It happened after Ragan left.”
“is it… … .”
After Lagann Artorius left, Ellen changed.
I thought about what Ellen would have looked like in the past, but I wasn’t sure how it would feel.
Ellen is always laughing and playing. I don’t think that’s the Ellen I know.
If that’s the case, I don’t think it would be too bad.
When Ellen was young, she would have played with the children in this valley, playing in the water like that.
It also looked pretty deep.
Come to think of it, Ellen was an incredibly good swimmer.
If you play in a place like this since you were young, will your swimming skills come naturally?
Suddenly, I found out where Ellen’s swimming skills came from.
“I don’t know, but you think too much.”
Those were Arta’s words.
“See?”
“uh.”
“huh.”
At my question, both Lena and Arta nodded at the same time.
“Because you don’t know what you want or what you actually do?”
“… … I guess so.”
“If something goes wrong, just think I came to rest.”
“Are you taking a break?”
Arta looks at me quietly.
“Yes, I can’t do this either, and if I can’t do it, I should at least take a break. Not being able to take a break is so ugly.”
“Right, Reinhardt, I think you should take a break. You look like you can’t afford it.”
Neither of them knew that I was the Demon King, nor that I was the ruler of a country called Edina.
But I kept feeling my anxiety and nervousness. That’s why I felt that I had no room at all in my actions.
take a break
Just taking a break without thinking.
Is that possible for me?
It feels meaningless to spend time here without gaining anything. I feel like this meaningless situation that gives me nothing comes back as a form of guilt.
However, I couldn’t deny Arta’s words that not being able to take a break is an ugly thing.
I’ve been running non-stop for two years, I’ve seen more cruel things than necessary, I’ve made brutal decisions, and I’ve had to stand at the crossroads of difficult choices.
What will happen if you rest?
How long do I have to rest to find peace in this confused heart?
I do not know.
-Chack!
-Give me!
– Oh stop! stop!
I look at the children playing in the water without worrying about anything.
-Shoot aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And look at the huge waterfall pouring down.
take a break
I don’t know how to rest
I wanted to do something bizarre.
Something you would never normally do.
In a place like this, in a moment like this, you can do something.
“Swim?”
“no.”
I started getting hit by the pouring water from under the waterfall.
Without magical power enhancement, bare-body.
Lena and Arta start looking at me with crazy eyes as I suddenly stand under the waterfall.
-Shoot it!
-What are you doing?
-brother! what are you doing?
The kids also started looking at me like a weirdo.
I did it because I remembered something like a cliché that cultists gain enlightenment while doing things like this.
Of course, there was no such thing as enlightenment, and it only felt like the scalp was peeling off.
Being hit by a cascading waterfall without magical power enhancement made my body feel as if it would break.
The curious thing was that the pain of the body made me forget the anguish that seemed to break my heart to some extent.
After that, when I had time, I sat under the waterfall and did zazen.
* * *
I know at least that you cannot become a Taoist by zazen under a pouring waterfall.
Rather, it is a big deal if it becomes a freshman. I hope there is something I can do in this world, so it’s a big deal to get enlightenment and ascend to heaven.
I don’t know anything about penance and I don’t know what it means.
However, I only received the feeling that the physical pain somewhat diluted the mental anguish.
It is not a religious or religious penance, it is just a physical penance.
Without using magical power enhancement, he was being hit by a huge waterfall with his bare body, so after doing that all day, his whole body would ache and he couldn’t even move properly.
If I went back and collapsed in that state, I could fall asleep without even thinking about it.
“… … What are you doing these days that you keep getting wet?”
“I am polishing the way.”
“… … ?”
It was quite amusing to see Luna taken aback by my words.
It was quite painful to endure such pain without protecting the body with magic.
But the funny thing is, my physical ability has already surpassed that of a criminal.
No matter how hard it was, no matter how hard it was, even if I fell asleep in a throbbing pain all over my body, the next day my body returned to its original state, except for a little pain, as if it had always happened.
It is impossible for me in my current state not to think about anything.
That’s why the body is treated harshly, creating a body that can’t care about external things.
It’s a simple ignorant method, but it definitely had an effect.
It wasn’t at a level that I couldn’t think of at all, but when I was hit by the water that hit my whole body, at some point I was able to understand to some extent what the state of selflessness was.
To be honest, I don’t even need such grandiose words.
It just hurts and hurts, so I don’t think about anything.
There were also funny things.
“I teased you for being a puberty, so what kind of ascetic are you doing?”
Arta, who made fun of me at first, is now sitting next to me and getting hit by a waterfall together.
“Hmm… … . Shall I try too?”
Even, since Arta did, Lena and herself came into the waterfall secretly, saying that they would try it too.
“Kyaaak!”
“hey! You, why are you here!”
Lena was sick as well, but she screamed and ran away as her clothes were half peeled off by the pouring water.
Lena put on her clothes and went back to the village with her face reddened.
Artha was also trembling next to me.
I wonder if it’s obvious, but I couldn’t help but know that Arta liked Lena.
I was sitting under a waterfall with Arta.
“I was born and raised here! You, an outsider, are the first to do something like this!”
“Who would do such a bizarre thing?”
“I know it’s bizarre!”
Artha giggles and falls under the waterfall.
Since it was summer, the children were always in the valley, and the older brothers and sisters were taking a trip to the waterfall, so there were guys who sneaked up on me and said they would try it too.
Usually, when the waterfall falls on their heads, they fall out in a panic, but there were also those who clenched their teeth and endured.
“brother! Is this fun?!”
An unknown village boy shouted at me.
“Will it be fun!”
“Then why?”
“I don’t know!”
Why are you doing something that is not fun and only hurts?
The kids asked me, but I couldn’t figure out why either.
but.
Every time the waterfall hits my head and body.
I could clearly feel that the old stains in my heart were peeling away from the shock.
-Shoot it!
Although the sound of the fierce falling water that shook my ears rang loudly.
My heart was gradually becoming calmer.
I clearly sensed the loud silence, as if there was only me and the sound of pouring water in the world.
Enhancing magical power is strength for battle.
I awakened my magic power enhancement during the fight against Oscar de Gradias.
The superpower of self-suggestion.
The power of magical power enhancement.
Even the power of the spirit.
All of them have awakened in the fight.
If you think about it, that’s a way that’s far from universal.
It cannot be denied that such power was given to me by the necessity acting on me.
In situations where under normal circumstances I would have been seriously injured or killed, I have moved on to the next step.
That, after all, was something like foul play.
A yoga master teacher who doesn’t know what happened now.
Since that teacher must have been quite talented, he must have been taking on his own role in the fight against the Gate incident.
The Yoga Master’s class was basically a hypnotic feeling.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Then, at some point, we all fell asleep.
And when I woke up, I woke up in an unknown source of exhilaration.
After that, Ellen and I took a special class after I realized the magical power enhancement.
Yoga masters didn’t teach magic enhancement as a way to fight. The teacher talked about how to control the mind and how to manage mana.
Enhancing magical power is a power specialized in combat that greatly increases body output.
But is it really only for battle?
The yoga master teacher seemed to approach things that circulate qi, including strengthening magical power, as if it were a way to cultivate the mind.
The same goes for Luna and Ronan, and also for Arta.
They didn’t discuss the output or sophistication of magical power enhancement, but seemed to regard it as a matter of the heart.
Emphasis is placed on will rather than strength.
Enhancing magical power is not a power that enhances combat power, but is it a kind of psychological action that reveals the strength of the mind and the sophistication of the mind as the strength of the body?
I wasn’t strong-minded.
I just endured, endured, and endured again.
A broken mind actually affects the body.
Shedding tears easily, or going a little further, hyperventilating, or numb hands and feet. Disruption of the mind causes loss of control over the body.
Of course, the reverse is also possible.
Mind and body are reciprocal.
As an example of this is the way I forget the anguish of the mind to some extent through the pain of the body.
then.
Could it be the other way around?
Just like a person whose heart is sick is also physically sick.
Those who are strong in heart, if the hardness of the mind affects the body.
Can a person with a strong heart replace that strong heart with actual strength?
-Quarrrrrrr
The sound of the cascading waterfall hits my whole body as intensely as a thunderstorm.
Until now, I have solved everything through fighting.
That’s why I’ve been thinking that if I use magical power enhancement vigorously and empty and refill, empty and refill repeatedly, it might work out somehow.
However, strictly speaking, I was on the path of an apostle.
Awakening one’s power in battle is something that doesn’t happen in nature.
Since that happened so often, I thought it was natural for me to awaken my strength through such a chance fight.
Because Ellen, my goal and direction, was like that too.
Also, magical power enhancement was a way of fighting and could not escape from the idea that it was a tool.
strengthening power.
A method of strengthening the body’s abilities by channeling the mana within the body into the body.
However, this was not an issue to be approached that way.
It is possible to approach the enhancement of magical power instrumentally, but it is not necessary to do so.
Just like a yoga master teacher does.
Like Luna and Ronan said.
As Arta said.
This is a way, a law that allows the mind and spirit to influence the body through magic.
So, this should be approached as a matter of heart and mind.
At some point, rather than expressing something, I just kept going forward, suppressing countless worries and anguish.
Let’s think after everything is over.
Let’s grieve after everything is resolved.
to the next.
to the next moment.
As I procrastinated and piled up a lot of work, my mind became cloudy, and my suppressed emotions just rotted without being expressed.
The confused mind only becomes a spark of confused mana and is violently discharged.
My body was able to withstand it because I was unusually strong.
It was just hitting and driving unrefined, violent power into an overly powerful frame. It was actually strange to hold on to it.
I couldn’t get my mind right.
Powerful mana was just hitting the body like a flood.
So, I couldn’t use my body properly either.
Problems originating from the mind led to problems with mana management, and consequently problems with the body.
Now I have to abandon the apostle.
I am a giant tree with a rot inside.
At first glance, it looks gigantic, but inside it has rotted and died, so it can’t grow any further.
That’s why it’s such a big monster.
I don’t know how to let go of this pain and despair. No, I don’t know if I can throw it away or not.
But I know that it was a problem to just endure it.
It wasn’t tolerance, it was turning away.
I was ignoring everything while pushing myself to not think about it yet.
That’s why I didn’t put up with worrying about unanswered questions, I just turned away from thinking.
I still don’t have the confidence to face the problems head on, but I get hope that knowing what the problems are can make things a little better.
The pain is gone.
There is no blue light coming out of the whole body.
However, because the mana wrapped around his body and strengthened his body, he did not feel the pain of the current.
pure heart.
Reinforcing pure magic power.
I was able to take that first step.
It is only the first step, but it is not the end.
have to go next
to this next step.
I am.
I can go.
