Episode 138
To be honest, Han Do-yoon felt extremely tired when Lee Jae-heon gave him the fruit without telling anyone else. It felt like he was carrying a bomb.
“It’s a gift.”
You fell asleep, saying something like a gift.
“…yes?”
“Use it as you see fit.”
To put it more bluntly, I was f*cking annoyed.
Han Do-yoon never hated the scars on his body, but he was never proud of them either. To him, the scars on his body were just warnings to become wiser and more agile in the future, not medals or murals that deserve praise.
“I don’t know what the intention of the gift is, Mr. Lee Jae-heon.”
“Isn’t the intention already clear?”
“It’s not exactly clear, and I guess you didn’t understand me because I was deliberately beating around the bush.”
He could have sacrificed his life to save the citizens if necessary, but he never tried to die for that reason.
“Why did you give this to me?”
“Well, don’t die?”
“Hey, this doesn’t make sense.”
I was smiling, but I wasn’t happy.
It’s always been like that, but these days, I feel like that duality has grown even bigger. Even while being consumed by this world and losing his mind, Han Do-yoon entered the park chasing the fire.
He always wanted to live, and that is why he felt that my lifeline was precious. Because he already knew how miserably the things that make up me and those around me would collapse and be sad after Han Do-yoon’s death. I have seen the results of sacrifices made by others, not me, without permission.
To him, those who praised sacrifice and those who did not care about his own life were truly difficult to understand and made him angry.
‘There will be many people who will be sad when you die.’
Life isn’t like a movie where the film ends when it stops.
It wasn’t like it was a completely different world outside the frame, or like a fairy tale ending with, “The prince who saved the princess lived happily ever after.” The world doesn’t end just because one person dies.
That is why there has always been a world after an incident.
“… Ahahaha.”
Han Do-yoon hated people who gave up on their lives.
“This is really… a strange gift.”
“… … .”
“You know?”
I hated people who ran away from others, who were blinded by the happiness of others and made sacrifices… .
“… Well, anyway, I will accept it.”
Isn’t that too selfish?
‘Knowing clearly that other people are worried.’
What are you, knowing that but not accepting it?
Is it really a vaguely optimistic feeling that ‘things will get better someday’, or is it a turning away from something that you know for sure but pretend not to know?
As for Han Do-yoon, he was a person I wanted to understand but did not want to sympathize with.
‘Isn’t giving this to you disrespecting Mr. Jeong In-ho’s sincerity?’
If that’s the case, just say it out loud. I wanted to grab him by the collar. I wanted to die, so I would do anything to make other guys happy. Han Do-yoon couldn’t shake the thought that this small fruit he had given me was a kind of will.
But what happens when Lee Jae-heon dies? What happens to the people who were hovering around you, the people who believed that you would never die even when you were a corpse?
They clearly appear to be better than others, but… .
“… … .”
After Lee Jae-heon died, everyone might turn into monsters.
People who are cornered and have no time to spare display violence that is so miserable.
Most people show mercy and affection because they have enough room to spare. Also, for Kwon Yeon-hee, Noh Yeon-seok, Kang Min-ah, Lee Ha, and many others, that room to spare was Lee Jae-heon.
‘Even a detective seems to be distracted… .’
Han Do-yoon had a talent for imagining the worst-case scenario, so he had an amazing ability to make things happen every time he wished they wouldn’t. It could be seen as a kind of jinx.
“… Take care on your way back, Mr. Lee Jae-heon.”
Still, I hoped that peace would continue as long as possible.
That was the reason Han Do-yoon called Noh Yeon-seok.
* * *
“… … .”
“…Keuk, ugh.”
Ha Sung-yoon was a person who thought he had grown up quite nicely.
His parents wanted Ha Sung-yoon to grow up to be a good and good person, and their love and education were affectionate and kind. They always gave me choices and prayed that he would do the best he could with his abilities.
His own wish was not much different from his parents’. With the full support of his parents, Ha Seong-yoon became a doctor at a younger age than others, but he felt that this was not enough, so he went to a conflict zone to volunteer.
Throughout all this, Ha Sung-yoon’s parents were always on his side.
“Ah… This is pretty good too.”
“Coolook, ugh. Ugh… .”
“Why are there so many good ingredients? Or not? Maybe it’s all because of the old man’s influence… .”
I loved my family like that.
“Doctor, what does sacrifice mean?”
Ha Sung-yoon just coughed at the sight of the murderer asking him that question. His throat was sore from being tired and he couldn’t breathe well, but he was still able to live even though he was scratching at the hand that was holding his throat.
It’s just that what I saw was excessively cruel.
“Ugh, phew… .”
Song In-myeong was seen killing a person.
He was seen stabbing the fleeing man in the neck and lungs with a knife and then throwing him away. He was seen dragging a crying child by the neck and throwing him to the monster he encountered. It seemed that the child was already almost dead when he was strangled.
And in an instant, the overlapping illusions were erased, and all I could see was a monster strangling me. A person lying on the ground.
That got a little funny.
“Why do you make sacrifices? How do you feel when you do that? How did you feel when you blocked my sister’s path just now?”
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“Ugh… .”
“How can you think of doing that on your own? What is the principle behind it…?”
Once you reach the position of ‘professor’, the profession of a doctor gains a certain authority. Nevertheless, it is a position that can be easily given to those who have lost a loved one.
“Isn’t there a formula for that too? I mean, emotions.”
Ha Sung-yoon grew up with good parents and received a good education, became a doctor with thoughtful support in a perfect environment, and even rose to the position of professor through all efforts, but he did not get angry when his guardian, who had lost his family, grabbed him by the collar and slapped him in the face. He was quite a pretty boy, but he did not feel pain.
What hurt more was the fact that my patient died on my table.
“Coolook, whoosh, ha.”
“I just poked your back, doctor. Does it hurt?”
For Ha Seong-yoon, that was unbearable pain.
“…Why do you keep looking at that older sister?”
“… … .”
“It’s really amazing.”
What he saw was Kang Min-ah, trembling and clutching her stomach.
“Don’t worry, I only stabbed you twice.”
The human body is so fragile that you can die from just two stabs with a knife, you idiot.
‘… I felt like you were always giving me hints… .’
I had a rough idea of the situation.
None other than Lee Jae-heon, who was directly looking at Ha Seong-yoon, gave him a hint, and even if that wasn’t the case, detectives Hong Kyung-jun and Kim Yeon-woo were often observing the survivors closely. Ha Seong-yoon knew that he was one of Kim Yeon-woo’s suspects.
Besides, didn’t he check the body of the dead child? He thought something was strange when he saw a faint mark on the neck, but no. In fact, the mark was strangely faint for someone who died from suffocation. In any case, he thought that someone might have used the child as bait.
However, the pupil that Ha Seong-yoon received worked too late.
“That’s strange, I know that the back is a pretty sore spot too….”
“Ugh, ugh.”
“Excuse me, Doctor. You’ve just been stabbed four times in the back. You’ve even been strangled in the neck.”
Yeah, I wish you had shown me before I got stabbed in the back.
‘Is it because there is a lack of oxygen?’
It was true that his back was hot, but for some reason it didn’t hurt much. Ha Sung-yoon wondered if it was because his throat was choked and he couldn’t breathe properly, but soon all his attention was focused on Kang Min-ah.
When he saw the knife in Song In-myeong’s hand, who suddenly rushed at him, he instinctively hugged her. Thanks to that, the knife went into and out of his back several times, and when Kang Min-ah saw that, she screamed and got away from him.
It was only natural that she, who was physically different from him, would suffer for Song In-myeong.
“… … .”
But that’s not a given.
It is true that Lee Jae-heon was unrivaled during that time, but Kang Min-ah was also Ha Sung-yoon’s patient.
“Ugh… .”
“Doctor?”
These are my patients.
“… … .”
“hey?”
My patient, whom I have to save.
I didn’t want to become a murderer who couldn’t save a patient who could have been saved. I didn’t want to become so incompetent, so helpless. I may not be a good person or a good doctor, but I can still be a competent doctor. That’s the last thing I have left.
That’s my last seat… .
“… … .”
I thought of the gray coat and Jeong In-ho, who was holding it. Finally, Ha Seong-yoon, who felt the strangeness inside the hem of his pants, gradually relaxed the strength in his hands that were pushing the opponent away.
“…aha.”
A woman caught my eye.
Kang Min-ah was seen crying as if she was shedding tears of blood, holding the hammer with both hands and raising it, staring at the criminal with bloodshot eyes like a scorpion.
Ha Seong-yoon immediately grabbed Song In-myeong by the collar and fixed his upper body.
Crunch.
“―Aaak!”
Her hammer soon struck the back of his head.
“Hey, you bitch…!”
“죽어버려, 개새끼야.”
Song In-myeong immediately shook off Ha Seong-yoon’s hand and snatched Kang Min-ah’s hammer, but she was not flustered by her opponent’s quick counterattack and immediately ran away from the spot.
Song In-myeong looked at Kang Min-ah and Ha Seong-yoon alternately, laughing as if he found Kang Min-ah’s appearance absurd.
“What is this, abandoning a comrade…?”
“… … .”
“… Oh, no. Wow.”
The corners of his mouth rose up as if he was extremely happy.
“You probably thought I was going to chase after Mina. Right?”
“…haha….”
“Wow, wow, wow, seriously, seriously, this is driving me crazy… .”
He runs his hands over his face and mutters in ecstasy.
“I think you guys are really cool.”
Then he followed her while holding Kang Min-ah’s hammer.
“… … .”
This is true.
Ha Seong-yoon, who was left alone in an instant, gently caressed his sore neck and lay down on the ground. He could smell a strangely clear scent of blood inside his neck.
He remained still for about a minute and then muttered something like a sigh.
“I’m going crazy.”
Perhaps Kang Min-ah thought she had to lure Song In-myeong.
Didn’t he keep talking about his own artistic philosophy while strangling Ha Sung-yoon? I thought he might have deliberately dragged Song In-myeong away after drawing attention to himself, thinking that if he had stepped forward to be the target instead of Ha Sung-yoon, he would have tried to kill Kang Min-ah. Thinking back to his trembling hammer-holding hand.
That’s why Ha Seong-yoon couldn’t help but feel it deeply once again.
“… This is not a place for a doctor… .”
I felt like I wanted to die like this.
Doctors want to make a living as doctors, but why are there so many friends who get in the way?
