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Episode 68
A Hideout in a Crazy Place (2)
[Anyway, as soon as he opens his mouth, jokes just flow out, really.]
“… … .”
[Hey, be honest. You lied when you said you were stuck in a cave for two thousand years, right?]
“That, that’s real… … !”
What is the truth?
[How did someone who was only in a cave commit an invasion?]
“… … At that time, I only sent out my subordinates and stayed in the cave alone?!”
Richie, who was sweating profusely, let out a loud noise.
“And if I had gone there myself, I would have just swallowed up that tiny territory!”
[That’s the problem.]
“……yes?”
[That’s the problem.]
That son of a bitch doesn’t even know why I’ve been teasing him all this time.
I’m so frustrated I could die.
[Riley and I are suffering because you couldn’t get that one tiny piece of territory.]
“No, what on earth does that have to do with anything… … .”
What does it matter?
If that bastard’s “Full-scale! Lich’s World Domination Plan! Vol. 12” had succeeded, the Irantes Tower would have been destroyed.
Then by now Riley and I would be laughing without a care in the world.
As I recalled that fact, my blood pressure seemed to rise again.
[Phew… …. Hey, this won’t work.]
I took a deep breath and continued speaking.
[You should take some time to clear your mind.]
“yes yes……?”
[I had to do it sometime soon anyway.]
“… … !”
When Richie heard those words, he let out a scream that was full of despair.
“… … Ah, no!”
* * *
“… … .”
[… … .]
An hour later.
A cozy bedroom inside a cave.
Richie, who had brought the warm tea, was shivering all over. The guy’s hands holding the mug were shaking like crazy.
Shiver, shiver, shiver─!
The reason was simple.
The aftereffects of the mental transformation left my body constantly shaking.
“Euuuuuuu… … .”
Brrrrrr─!
Richie, who had been shaking his body violently as if in a fit, opened his mouth.
“After finishing the mental renovation, my mind has become much clearer.”
[Now do you see how crazy what you did was?]
“Yes, well… … .”
Mental Remodeling was the process of purifying the mind of a lich that had been tainted by dark magic.
But the process was so painful that Richie hated this mental transformation.
-Kuaaaaaaah!
But what can I do?
If you don’t do this periodically, Lich will be completely consumed by magic.
The guy also knew that fact, so no matter how painful it was, he couldn’t refuse the mental reformation.
“Ugh, I’ve been through this hundreds of times already. But I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this pain.”
[I have to endure it. There is no other way.]
Richie couldn’t do the mental transformation on his own.
This is because in order to reform the mind, it was necessary to touch the Life-vessel, the source of Lich’s life.
No matter how excellent a doctor is, he cannot operate on his own heart.
And this was also the case with Rich and Lifevessel.
So I often brought my disciple over to help me take care of Richie’s lifevessel.
Originally, this was a task that had to be done periodically once every few decades, but after being locked in the library for 300 years, Lich’s mind had not been reformed for a long time.
Last time I came here, I was so focused on preparing for the screening test that I was too indifferent to Richie.
Perhaps because of that, Richie’s mind seems to have been greatly polluted up until now.
[Ugh… … .]
Yeah, well.
I hate to admit it, but I was partly responsible for that skeleton’s crazy actions.
“By the way, Riley’s mana affinity is definitely amazing. I’ve never seen anyone finish a mind modification in 30 minutes.”
[Well, that’s true.]
As explained earlier, the mental transformation was a task that required quickly finding the magics sleeping within Lich’s life vessel.
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Therefore, the most important factor in performing this task was mana affinity.
Naturally, this was Riley’s specialty, so even though Richie had a large amount of magic stored up over a long period of time, she was able to finish the task faster than anyone else.
-Ugh! Ugh… … .
-It’s finished.
-Ugh, what? Already?
Is that why?
Richie seemed quite satisfied with the mental transformation that was completed much faster than expected.
“So, Master, why did you come here? I don’t think you came here just for a mental reformation.”
Richie asked a question.
okay.
We’ve had enough small talk, so now it’s time to get to the main point.
I told Richie everything that had happened during the screening test.
“hmm…….”
The guy who heard the whole story gave an answer right away.
“In short, you want me to get rid of the heartworm inside Riley’s body as quickly as possible?”
[Yeah, that’s correct.]
“Well, that’s simple.”
Richie looked at Riley and said.
“Okay, Riley. First, take off your clothes.”
“……yes?”
Riley, who had been quietly drinking tea, made a bewildered expression at Richie’s sudden request.
“……why?”
“Why? Because I have to check each and every blood vessel and circuit in your body. That way, I can create a neutralizer that suits you.”
“… … .”
“Why? Are you embarrassed?”
Riley answered in a shaky voice.
“Yes. It’s a little embarrassing that an old man like Richie is seeing my naked body… … .”
Then Richie and I both interrupted her at the same time.
“I’m a woman?”
[Is she a girl?]
After hearing that, Riley looked dumbfounded and couldn’t speak for a while.
Only after a long time had passed did Riley finally open her mouth.
“… …What did you say?”
* * *
A studio strewn with all sorts of junk.
After carefully checking Riley’s blood flow and mana circuits, Richie began to focus on his work.
“… … .”
Horok─.
Riley watched the scene with a thick blanket wrapped around her body.
She took a sip of her warm cocoa and suddenly spoke to me.
“I never imagined that Richie was a woman while he was alive.”
[Well, that makes sense.]
Unless you reveal it yourself, no one will ever know.
That would be the case, because the Rich guy had the appearance of a giant skeleton that was three meters tall.
okay.
Who in the world would be able to guess someone’s gender just by looking at that?
“Besides, your voice is a bit ambiguous.”
[huh.]
It was also impossible to tell Richie’s gender by voice.
The guy’s voice was generated through an artificial vocal organ created with magic power.
Of course, compared to an average person, the tone was somewhat heterogeneous.
Should I say that it sounds like a voice that has been slightly altered?
Well, anyway.
After finishing those random thoughts, I turned my gaze back towards Richie.
“… … .”
[… … .]
Ssak, s …
Richie was drawing complex spells and diagrams on parchment without any hesitation.
The process of continuing the work was very clean, as if no one would say I was his disciple.
Just one thing.
Except for one blemish, that is.
As I watched Richie engrossed in his work, I blurted out the words I had been holding back.
[Hey, sorry to bother you while you’re working… … .]
“Yes! Why, Master?”
Richie raised his head after hearing my words.
Swish─.
A skull wearing round glasses appeared.
[… … .]
okay.
Those glasses.
Seriously, those glasses really bother me.
[Why on earth do you wear glasses when you don’t even have eyeballs?]
To begin with, Richie’s eyes are different in structure from those of a normal human.
What this means is that the refraction of light, lenses, retinas, and all that stuff is meaningless.
On that topic, I don’t know why that rich kid is wearing glasses.
“These glasses?”
After hearing my question, Richie answered with a bright smile.
“I just write to cheer myself up!”
[… … .]
The guy laughed absentmindedly and drank the coffee next to him.
You need caffeine to concentrate or something.
Gulp─.
But all that coffee leaked out between his ribs.
[Surely not that too… … .]
“Yes! This is just for fun!”
[… … .]
Plague.
Let’s just not talk.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand the mental state of that skeleton for the rest of my life.
“Ugh… … By the way, Master.”
[why?]
“I’m sorry to suddenly ask you this, but I think this won’t be over until tomorrow evening.”
Richie continued with a serious expression.
“The Heartworm’s recipe is quite complicated. It seems like it will take longer than expected to create a neutralizer.”
Tomorrow evening… … .
Are you so short on time?
[Then, are you and Riley practicing magic in the meantime?]
“That won’t do!”
Richie, who was yelling and swearing, tried to stop me.
“I took all the blood vessels and magical circuit samples, but when I practice magic, everything changes.”
[Oh, right. That’s right.]
In short, it meant that one should not practice magic until the neutralizer made by Richie was completed.
So what should I do in the meantime?
It’s too boring to just wait.
It was at that moment when I was having such worries that Richie came to me with a piece of advice.
“Then, would you like to read some of the books in my study?”
[The book in your study?]
Well, that’s fine.
I think I already read all the books there when I came here with my disciple last time.
“During the 300 years that the Master was absent, many new books were collected.”
[Oh, really?]
Then the story changes.
Rather than sitting still and watching Richie make a neutralizer, it would have been much more beneficial to go and read a book.
Jeokbuk─.
That’s how Riley and I were walking to the study to follow Richie.
[But wait. Something seems a little strange.]
I looked at the back of Richie’s head and continued speaking.
[Hey, skullcap.]
“……yes yes?”
[Come to think of it, how does someone who has been in a cave for 2,000 years collect new books every time?]
“… … !”
Richie made a stinging expression.
Towering─.
The footsteps of the man who was guiding us to the study froze.
also.
I say this over and over again, but he is a guy who really can’t lie, then or now.
“That, that, that too, by, by ordering a subordinate… … .”
[You know that’s nonsense, right?]
“I got caught, hehe.”
Richie scratched the back of his head with an awkward smile.
“But, Master, if you look closely, what I said wasn’t wrong.”
[……what?]
“I have never left this cave in two thousand years.”
What the hell is this?
He just got caught lying, so I don’t know what he’s trying to say next.
“Now, listen.”
[… … .]
“A wizard sent his clone to the market to do some shopping, while his main body stayed at home.”
Chuck─!
Richie continued, raising a finger curiously.
“Then that wizard was at home the whole time? If you think about it, it wasn’t his “main body” that went to the market, but his “clone”!”
[Well, that’s true… … ?]
That wasn’t a wrong statement.
[So, what? Are you saying that you learned clone magic during the 300 years that I was away?]
“No. Of course I didn’t learn clone magic. As a lich, I can only use black magic, so how could I use magic of the “mystery attribute” series?”
Then what is it?
“No matter how damaged or broken my body is, as long as my life vessel is intact, I can come back to life. That’s the characteristic of the Lich race.”
[… … .]
“Then, can we say that the Life Vessel is actually my “main body”?”
[her……?]
I couldn’t continue speaking because of Richie’s absurd logic.
Regardless, Richie continued talking in an excited voice.
“My life vessel has always been inside a cave.”
“… … .”
“Then ta-da! No matter how much I’ve stirred up the continent, I’ve actually never left my cave in two thousand years, right?”
It was ridiculous.
What kind of logic is that, really?
It was then that Riley, who had been silently listening to Richie, cautiously sent a telepathic message.
‘Shall I kill you, Master?’
[Hold on, hold on… … .]
When that kid dies, there’s no one to get rid of our heartworms.
[Whew.]
Plague.
As expected, mental reform wasn’t the problem.
That skeleton guy was just a piece of shit from the start.
