Hey Ms. Yenika (4)
Never panic, no matter how unexpected situations come your way.
Calmly assess the situation and take the most appropriate action.
These are principles that must not be forgotten whether living in the wild, fighting, or dealing with the various events of a scenario.
After a year of this kind of life, I didn’t panic in any way, and I seemed to be able to deal with anything skillfully… .
“…”
I felt as if my brain was turned off and on for a moment at Yenika’s sudden fastball. First of all, I had to find the cause of her punishment, time to organize her thoughts.
Fortunately, there was a very easy justification. It is the thumb dripping with blood.
After taking care of the excess, I bought time for a rough answer by wrapping the leftover piece of cloth around my finger as a bandage.
While I performed a series of first aid operations, Yenika was truly unmoved.
With his face in his lap, he was ready to blow smoke out of his face. Judging by her reaction, she seems to know the meaning of what she said. It seems that there is no possibility that he misunderstood on my part.
Finger first aid is over, and it’s time to face the problem again.
“First of all… these are probably the things you’re expecting yourself… But I’ll have to point it out and move on.”
The remaining pieces of cloth were roughly tossed into the bonfire and burned, and he spoke while wiping the bloody fruit with a handkerchief.
It was a story that I had to say after deep consideration on the other side, so I had to accept it as calmly and sincere as possible, naturally, without showing embarrassment or absurdity. that is courtesy
“…I don’t know if I need to say it out of the blue, but first of all, I like you quite a bit.
These words were only a cushion to start the main topic, but when Jenika heard those words, she suddenly buried her head further and shook her shoulders. The sight of her breathing for no reason makes me gasp for no reason.
I removed the rest of the skin from the apple again and put it in my mouth. I cut off all the bloody parts and threw it away, but I was a little embarrassed to give it to Jenika to eat.
After taking some time to catch up, I spoke slowly to Jenika, who had calmed down.
“…Still, the thing I can’t help but point out is that I’m a man too.”
In such a situation, there is no choice but to take a calm, realistic and objective gaze.
“Listen up, Yenika. I’m not sure what you think of yourself… You’re pretty. You’re beautiful, I mean. Ordinary people like you…”
“S-Stop…”
I was speechless at the sudden stop declaration.
Maybe my efforts to keep my expression as low as possible and keep my tone low while talking calmly were meaningless.
With her head on her lap, Jenika’s face was already blushing.
He appeals with a tearful face as if he had been subjected to some nasty bullying.
“Mi, sorry… Su, I can’t breathe…”
“…”
“No… I can’t rest… Wait a minute… Can I take a deep breath…?”
I still say respectful words… ? No, it’s so toxic… ?
“…is it so.”
I’m going to take this again and sit down… ?
So, for a long time, we had a pause while listening to the sound of the bonfire. Well, if you feel like you’ve made some progress, take a break, and if you feel like you’ve made a little progress, take it easy… As they repeat the same thing to each other, it’s almost as if they’re doing some kind of bomb defusing work.
I picked up two wooden mugs and filled them with cold water. I handed one to Yenika, and I took a few sips while holding the other.
Yenika, as if her throat was burning, held up the large mug with both hands and gulped a single shot of cold water.
A ventilated atmosphere with the sound of puha.
It seems that the feeling that had been meaninglessly heated has subsided calmly again… I brought up the topic again.
“So, let’s talk about cohabitation again…”
그 말 한마디 다시 꺼냈을 뿐인데, 다시금 분위기가 휙 하고 하늘로 치솟는 듯한 착각이 들었다. 예니카는 또다시 고개를 푹 숙이고 얼굴을 붉혀 대는 것이다.
지금 자기가 무슨 말을 꺼냈는지 다시금 곱씹은 모양이었다. 이래 가지고는 몇 번을 분위기를 추스르든 아무 의미가 없다.
불도저처럼 달려가면서 그냥 이야기 자체에 얼른 결론을 내 버리는 게 중요하다. 이렇게 지지부진하다가는 밤새도 이야기가 안 끝난다. 예니카는 덱스관 통금 시간이 되면 돌아가야 되는 입장 아니던가.
그래도 참으로 다행인 점은, 일단 내 평정심은 잘 유지되고 있다는 점이다.
예니카의 폭탄 발언으로 인해 잠깐 휘청거리긴 했으나, 이 정도쯤은 충분히 이성적으로 대처 가능한 사안이다.
최대한 상식인의 포지션에서, 마음을 잘 가다듬으며, 해야 할 이야기를 하면 될 뿐이다.
마음의 벽을 이미지로 떠올려 보자면, 거대한 철옹성이다.
제아무리 온갖 폭탄 발언을 일삼아도 중심을 잘 잡고 있으면 이성은 쉬이 무너지지 않는다.
지난 1년간의 지옥 같은 생활 속에서, 그 어떤 상황에서도 차분하게 이성을 유지하는 법을 배우지 않았나.
거기다 상대는 예니카다. 이러니저러니 해도, 그 예니카란 말이다.
순간적으로 예상치 못한 폭탄 발언을 해서는 사람을 긴장하게 만들었지만, 그래도 일단은 상식인이다. 그렇다면 이쪽도 상식인으로서의 이야기를 해 주면 되는 것이다.
“지금이야 널 배려하고, 최대한 젠틀하게 대할 수 있지만… 한 지붕 살이 같은 걸 하면 일이 어떻게 될지는 아무도 모른다. 나는 널 항상 배려하고 싶고, 널 존중하고 싶지만… 엄밀히 말해서 남자라는 족속들은 결국엔 다 비슷해. 날 믿어 주는 건 고마운 일이야. 그래도… 너 스스로를 지킬 수 있는 사람은 너 자신뿐이라는 걸 절대 잊지 마. 예니카.”
괜스레 나누어 이야기해 봤자 역효과만 나므로 한 번에 결론까지 후다닥 말해 버렸다.
무릎을 꽉 안고 있는 예니카를 한번 슥 보니 일단 내 이야기를 경청하긴 한 것 같다.
이런 상황에 와서도 끝끝내 이성을 유지한 나 자신에게 박수를 보냈다.
여기까지 왔으면 예니카 입장에서 더 나올 만한 폭탄 발언은 없을 것이다.
그러나, 그런 나의 생각이야말로 바로 안일함 그 자체라는 걸 증명하듯, 나랑 눈을 맞추고 똑바로 한다는 이야기가….
“그래도 에드면 상관없는데….”
읊조리듯 튀어나온 예니카의 그 말이 다시 내 말문을 틀어막았다.
“…….”
“아.”
시간차를 두고 예니카의 반응이 다시 돌아온다. 반사적으로 튀어나온 그 말이 뭘 의미하는지 본인도 이내 깨달았는지, 갑자기 온몸에 소름이 돋은 듯 부르르 어깨를 떨고서는, 차분해졌던 얼굴에 다시 핏기가 올라온다.
말문이 막힌다는 표현이 정말 그대로 딱 들어맞았다.
뭐라도 말해 볼까 싶어서 입을 열었는데, 그냥 말이 안 나왔다.
“에드느흔….”
‘에드는’이라는 말을 하려다가 혀라도 깨물었는지, 예니카는 다시 숨을 집어삼켰다.
And he looks at me while covering his mouth with both hands. I’m breathing fast because of the heightened atmosphere, but after making such a seemingly decent mistake, I feel ashamed.
Bad news overlapped.
Normally, I would have been able to cope with anything he said, but ironically, all sorts of situational variables came together in multiple layers, pushing the string of reason to the limit.
——————
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Right after the really hard and difficult election for student president, I came back to camp and felt a sense of peace and freedom… this situational background.
I feel like the end of the days when I was tired of just eating and living as I put myself in extreme situations. The basic infrastructure was also in place, and the workload itself was considerably reduced, so I felt relieved.
Yenikawa and I exchanged honorifics for no reason, so it was a little more unfamiliar than usual, but on the other hand, familiar… A sense of tug-of-war on a strange boundary line.
moonlit night. The moonlight subdued the camp. crackling flames. The sound of grass bugs that sounds more sentimental for some reason.
A girl whose face was blushing because she couldn’t handle the words she half impulsively uttered.
‘Can you survive this? Can you survive this?’ In a situation where the world seems to be crying out… I stopped and closed my eyes.
By this point, I felt rather calm.
“Yenika.”
Just calling that name in a low voice now makes my shoulders tremble for no reason… It wasn’t very comfortable for me either.
Still, there is something that must be pointed out.
Even if you bring hundreds of men in the world and ask them questions, they will all lose their reason and become yes-men.
That’s part of how Yenika came up with these words.
Although I was momentarily taken aback by the shock of the unexpected action, as if a bomb had exploded, I cannot make the mistake of not catching the essence of the matter while being swayed by the situation itself.
So I asked straight forward.
“…Is it very difficult?”
It’s as if those words were covered with cold water… The blood ran down Jenica’s face. And I could definitely feel it in the appearance of being intimidated in an instant.
Even if it was a normal dormitory, Dex Hall, it wouldn’t be as bad as the wild life. On the contrary, I heard that it is quite affordable.
Still, it was obvious why he suddenly said he wanted to live in the camp. Yenika was already mentally concentrated.
While living in a group at the Dex building, it has been almost a year since I’ve had enough trouble with students my age.
expectations, favors, and respect. For some, it is a driving force that allows them to go further, but for others, they can be poisonous.
“…”
There was silence again.
It was strangely different from the silence before.
Yenika hugged her knees and stared blankly at the bonfire, then let out a wry smile.
“Ed, it seems like there’s nothing he doesn’t know.”
The ahaha smile is familiar. It’s the lively smile he makes when greeting friends while walking through the school.
It was always a sincere smile, but not many people can read the strange burden inherent in that deep psychology.
In short, Jenika is probably…
“I guess I wanted to run away. I miss the days when I lived alone in a private room in the Ophelis building. So stupid, isn’t it?”
Rather than respond positively… I just shook my head. Who in the world would criticize me for being stupid with that?
“What should I say about this camp… It was like a place of refuge. That’s why he probably wanted to run away here. Of course, it would have been very burdensome for Ed.”
“…”
“To Ed, this camp is like the product of his hard work over the past year…
Rather, she knew it well because it was Yenika.
The sweltering heat in summer that makes people faint from overwork, or the bitter cold in winter that makes the whole body tremble.
Besides that, I can see how special this camp is to me, which I have built through direct connection with various survival issues… It is this girl who understands better than anyone else.
I think it’s really shameless to try to invade such a space by mentioning one’s emotional problems… .
There is also a part where she misinterprets the problem because of her sound temperament. It is about the act of ‘running away’ itself.
“It’s not something that can be solved by running away. Rather than running away from a problem, you should think about fighting it face-to-face. Yes, I was weak for a while, too.”
Jenika said that and nodded her head herself. The look of embarrassment was still there.
“Yeah… I wanted to ask Ed one more time. I knew it would be burdensome… but I’m not sure why.”
Having said that, he sniffed and stopped talking.
Looking at each other for a while over the bonfire, we were just sharing time like that.
I looked up at the starry sky with my elbows resting on my knees.
Various constellations are shining brightly, but below them, only darkness dwells on the ground… Right now, I can’t even see what’s beyond the grass. Life is usually like this. It must have been the same with Yenika.
I tossed the cored apple into the bonfire.
“Certainly, it’s burdensome.”
In a low voice, he said the truth straight up. As serious as Yenika was, I couldn’t lie to her.
Completely intimidated by those words, Jenika let out a wry smile as she rested her head on her lap.
“Overall, you’re right, Yenika. Even if you hear that you’re going to live in a camp like this, you’re just dumbfounded, and it’s only natural that you don’t know what to do.”
“…Ehehe, as expected.”
It hurts my heart that the end of your voice is wet, so you decided to talk without procrastinating further.
I brushed off my clothes, got up, and sat next to Jenika. Sitting side by side, the girl’s petite physique suddenly became apparent.
“You don’t speak respect anymore.”
“Huh.”
Jenika, who had been stabbed to the point, giggled and quickly swallowed her breath. Has that obstinacy, whose meaning is unknown, finally given way?
In fact, it seems that I have realized that psychology only now. The reason why he dared to show respect and try to increase the distance was because he realized the reality.
Whether it was expected or respected, the more the burden constantly added to Jenika… Due to her sincere and reliable personality, it is highly likely that she tried to confront her head-on.
If that happens, whether it’s the existence of this camp I’ve always taken refuge in, or my existence… Even if you think it’s right to widen the distance, you can’t help it. He must have been wrapped up in the obsession that running away was not the answer.
You may not know it well because you are still young and immature.
Reality is strangely different from the world in fairy tales, and more and more often the answer is to run away when trials come.
I’ve seen far more people who find happiness by seeking a different direction in their lives, rather than piling up scratches on their hearts by forcing themselves to fight back.
However, if you think about her life history, where she has lived with only sincere respect and favor, it is highly likely that running away while ignoring the favor was not an option at all. That’s the problem.
“By the way, Jenika. Strictly speaking, isn’t it a completely separate issue that I’m burdened with?”
“huh?”
“Let’s not think arrogantly. Originally, when people live, they burden others and bear the burden they give. Common sense tells us that no one can live without being indebted to others. Just leaning on each other like that. living there.”
“…”
“And right now, I’m not the only one who owes you money.”
Spiritualism classes, help with maintaining a secluded life, etc… . Yenika already owes a lot. That’s why the next magical engineering training target was a staff. It was because there was nothing to give in return.
In a way, it is natural, but to this girl, even such an obvious reward is a debt of the heart.
It’s really nice to be kind and beautiful by nature, but sometimes it works as a burden.
“Since I owe you something, I’m ready to bear it even if it’s a bit burdensome. Well, if you feel that the calculation isn’t right, then I can ask you a burdensome favor next time. We won’t see each other for a day or two anyway, so that’s it.” Isn’t it a matter of giving and receiving like the ebb and flow? We’ll know each other for a long time.”
“then….”
“…Anyway, it’s a bit burdensome between one roof, so shouldn’t we build another hut?”
At those words, it felt like Yenika’s pupils subtly widened.
Using honorifics, redefining the relationship, going back to the somewhat awkward relationship and seeing each other with an objective gaze will all have their own meaning.
It was very fresh to see them in an awkward and awkward relationship, so there were many things I felt.
If it’s Yenika, no matter how stingy the relationship is, if someone needs help, she’ll step out and try to help.
If you see a person who has fallen on the street and is in pain, you will try to help first before distinguishing whether it is a beggar or a robber. It’s awkward and unfamiliar, so it’s hard to ask… I’ll have a hard time talking to that shoulder. look at this Do you need any help?
However, there is no law that the world will always be fair. Not all goodwill is reciprocated.
Even if you have lived a life of giving… There is no law that says that someone will always be by your side when you are in pain.
I’m sitting on the sidewalk and crying, and I put it on my back and say, ‘Look at me.’ How sad it is that there is no one to drop a word of concern.
In the end, someone can’t stand it and puts a hand on the shoulder. That’s the difference between a person who has lived by giving.
“…”
After I finished answering, I felt a bit embarrassed, so I just looked up at the sky.
Somehow, I thought that Jenika’s personality would make her jump and be happy… A surprisingly calm response came back.
Sitting next to each other, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly, and then Jenika spoke in a half-wet voice.
“Yeah, thank you…”
“…”
He hugged Yenika and stroked her hair with one hand… I quietly looked up at the sky.
The night sky over Aken Island was high and bright.
* * * [ Good morning, Mr Ed… ! I don’t know if it’s a sudden situation, but this fire candle mug will explain slowly… ! ]
the next morning.
After sending Yenica back to the Dex building, I took a deep breath and woke up to the sight that greeted me… All sorts of spirits seemed to fill my camp.
At the center of it was Tarkan, a high-ranking fire spirit that was difficult to even see with moderate sensitivity.
“…”
[Oh, you woke up. Ed Ross Taylor. ]
The image of him wielding his huge tail and commanding an army of spirits is literally the commander of the corps itself.
[I just needed your advice. I have no experience building a cabin. If possible, I would like to implement it with a feeling similar to your hut, but once the tree is cut down and trimmed, it is possible with the spirits’ fern-like hands… Architecture itself is more delicate work than you think. ]
“…Couldn’t you explain this situation slowly…?”
[I don’t know if you look at it, but I’m building a cabin right now. ]
As for Yenica, after being held in my arms for a long time last night, she returned to the dorm with her face red as a carrot.
I was planning to slowly proceed with the details of how to move to the camp in the future, when to submit the application form, and how to build the cabin.
[More on that later. To be honest, I’m a bit tired too. ]
“what?”
[Yesterday, I stayed up all night in the spirit realm and had a party… Well, you don’t have to tell me. Anyway, it’s me who has a slope, and we should do what we have to do quickly. ]
It doesn’t give you any specific details.
[First of all, the site selection process itself has been completed, but… I think it would feel a lot better to stand across from the campfire. The feeling of coming out of the door in the morning and bumping into each other must have its own romance.
Well, I don’t think it would be bad to build side by side next door… . Then it feels too stuffy, and protecting the minimum level of privacy… hmm… is not it… . After all, it’s better to build it as close as possible… . ]
“You’ve made it this far in just one night…?”
[Sorry, I’m a corpse except for the propulsion. ]
Maybe he has a grudge against me for cutting his throat in the first act?
I almost got goosebumps at the sight of the giant fire lizard giggling.
[The overall plan is about 10 days, Mr. Tarkan. I will make the most efficient work plan as the head of the field command team. ! ]
[Ten days… ? ]
[ yes… ! After thinking about the shift schedule between the lower spirits and establishing a break plan, I came up with that amount of work time. The direction of further reducing the work period according to the progress of the schedule is… . ]
[ rest… ? Why don’t you take a break… ? ]
Tarkan widens his terrifyingly large eyes… She spoke with a low voice.
[I really don’t understand, why are you taking a break… ? ]
[ yes… ? ]
[At the time, it was normal for me to run around carrying a spiritist for three days and nights, and to fight the battle the next day without any problems, even after going over snowy mountains for almost a week. Anyway, now that the number of elementals has increased and contracts have become easier, the discipline of the lower spirits has hit rock bottom.
Everyone only thinks about eating raw and working while taking a break. With this in mind, when will you change the phase, take a middle-level spirit, and meet a proper high-ranking spiritist and make a contract? ]
Mug is a spirit that is astonishing to one eye. Tarkan’s words gave me goosebumps, but I couldn’t stop him from nodding his head first.
[Well, then, push the schedule as far as possible… If you hold it for a week… . ]
[ thing… If you work without shifts… Can’t we push the schedule further… ? ]
[ yes? ]
[ Do you know how hard Yenika is enduring day by day? And since it’s been decided by two weeks, I’ll fall asleep holding her heart beating every night because of her excited heart. I can’t fathom the feeling… ? ]
Tarkan spoke skillfully, as if the expression on Mug’s face was fading.
[I will finish it in 5 days. As for the architectural advice, you can roughly ask this Ed Rosteeler here. ]
[ yes… ! Got it… ! ]
Saying that, I left to do my own business while wagging my huge tail.
[ this… Murderous schedule… . how… how the hell… . ]
Looking at the whole view of the camp, all kinds of spirits are moving the wood while sweating profusely.
[If black… I have no choice but to peel… . This candle mug… make it… . certainly… I have to do it… !! ]
Come to think of it, I am the cause of all this.
After Tarkan left, I saw Mug sitting on a tree stump in frustration… I meditated in silence.
really… I’m sorry… !! Mug… !!!
That’s on purpose… not really… !!