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“The Watcher is a servant of His Majesty the Emperor, but it is an unofficial position… … .”
I explained calmly.
Giselle listened to me so quietly that it seemed as if she had stopped breathing. Every time my words trailed off, the sound of wind and rain would knock on the building.
“… … In the end, I became a spy to bring down Custoria and the military. It was probably a plan that started when I first joined the Royal Guard as a cadet.”
It must have been a plan that started when I used ballistic control techniques that I had never learned. Whether it was Emperor Yuri Kratzia or Kinuan, they must have been watching me closely since then.
“Luka, you didn’t betray your father, did you?”
Giselle said, placing her fisted hands on her knees. I took a moment to collect my thoughts and then spoke.
“In our world right now, it’s meaningless to argue about who betrayed and deceived me. All that matters is whether it benefits me. Now that I think about it, Haylas didn’t care whether I deceived him or not. It was much more important that the ‘Luka’ faction benefited him. It wouldn’t have been a situation where he could feel betrayed or not. Everyone here deceives others.”
For a moment, I felt like fireworks were going off in my head.
Buzz.
My eyelids were trembling, not to mention blinking. As I was putting it into words, my thoughts and perspectives were instantly on the same level as the monsters.
The distinction between friend and foe is an emotional one, a concept. Identification of friend and foe varies depending on location and perspective and must be done in real time at every moment.
Heilas, Kinuan, and the Imperial Family.
The boundaries between the two were blurred for them. They simply interlocked their best judgments based on their own goals. If they met their goals, they cooperated, but if not, they turned their backs.
‘It’s not that I hate you because you betrayed me, but I hate you because you don’t help me. If it helps me, I’ll accept it even if you betray me. Even that betrayal can be used. If it’s beneficial, then that’s good.’
It is a higher cognitive judgment.
‘In our world, there is no reason to hate someone for lying to you.’
Their thinking is easier to understand. I have always been afraid that my identity and secrets will be discovered and that others will dispose of me.
They even threatened to dispose of me every time.
‘There was no need to fear that threat.’
They don’t dispose of useful cards for that reason. If they really wanted to dispose of them, they wouldn’t even say it out loud.
‘If only I had figured this out sooner… … .’
I could have revealed my presence and brought about more efficient balance.
You have to constantly change your perspective. Your thinking has become so fluid that it almost melts.
“Luka, I don’t understand. So whose side are you on?”
Giselle’s pupils trembled.
Most people are like Giselle: they demand clear answers and distinguish between friend and foe, because that is how they achieve cognitive peace.
The Heilas, Kinuan, and the Imperials, who make super-cognitive judgments, appear ‘inhumane’. This is because ordinary people perceive words and actions that deviate from common sense and intuition as inhumane.
‘That’s why I felt like they were monsters.’
But from a consequential perspective, their motives and goals were extremely human.
I’ve finally reached the same level as them. It’s too late. Thanks to seeing Noel’s memories, I’ve come this far.
“… … on the side of those who do not despair.”
I muttered. Giselle looked at me as if she found it even more difficult to understand.
“I don’t want to joke around, Luca! It means that my father could die. If our family is on the verge of extinction… … .”
Giselle squeezed her eyes shut. Tears she couldn’t hold back fell down her chin and onto the back of her hands.
“Giselle, even if Haylas and I work hard, there is little chance of us overcoming the current crisis. This is a clear fact. But if Haylas hasn’t given up… … I may be able to help.”
We had a long silence. The sound of wind and rain hitting the building’s exterior walls flew like sparks.
Giselle stood up. She walked over to the iron-paneled window and peered out through the narrow slit.
“Why are you telling me all this? You didn’t plan on telling me in the first place.”
“I just wanted to tell you. If things go wrong, then you don’t know anything about me. I wanted to tell you who I am and why I acted the way I did.”
I made a different judgment than Noel. Noel didn’t say anything to Katrin and Agatha.
Noel died alone, carrying everything on his shoulders, hiding it from Agatha until the very end. Because of that, Agatha lived a life carrying a curse.
I don’t want Giselle to be cursed like Agatha. Even if I fail and die, I want her to move forward.
“Am I special to you?”
Giselle said.
Seeing her pitiful appearance made my hormones race. I wanted to surrender to my wild nature.
The love between a man and a woman is a temporary impulse. But for now, I want to believe that it will last forever.
This is also my immaturity. I am being swayed by intense emotions that I am experiencing for the first time. I know it, but I can’t help it.
“Giselle, if you want to get away from all this chaos… … I’ll take you and leave Akbaran, no, the Empire, right now. I’m not sure if you’re special to me yet. But I’ll give you whatever you want. Even if it goes against my values.”
I never thought I’d say something like that. I thought it was something only an idiot would say.
“… … That’s what’s special, Luca. Me too.”
Giselle smiled as if she was relieved. I opened my eyes slightly and saw her smile.
Giselle went through a series of unpleasant experiences because of me. She showed her dissatisfaction, but did not refuse, and endured it steadfastly.
The reason is simple: she likes me.
* * *
We, or rather I, needed to get a good night’s rest.
Because of Noel’s memories, my head was a mess. Even when I tried to concentrate, my thoughts creaked like an unoiled machine.
Hooosh! Boom!
Occasionally, a noise could be heard outside the building. It seemed like debris blown by the wind was thumping against the outer walls. Or maybe it was people. If you listened closely, you could hear the occasional gunshot in the distance.
I lay in bed and looked at the ceiling. My wet clothes were hanging on the wall, dripping water drop by drop.
‘We’re going to Heilas tomorrow.’
I was planning to attack head on. I will ask Heilas what to do next. If Heilas knows that I am the Emperor’s Watcher, he will come up with a better plan.
I should have drawn a picture of cooperating with Heilas a long time ago. Just because he knows I’m a watcher, Heilas won’t turn against me or kill me. I’m the one who’s scared.
As things stand now, this level of thinking is the limit. If I wake up tomorrow, a better plan will come to mind.
‘… … Is there any hope for us?’
I squinted my eyes as I lay in bed. The red indirect lighting flickered.
Swish.
——————
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I heard Giselle’s movements. It seemed that she had been awakened by the sound of the wind. It was a night when it was difficult to fall into deep sleep.
I turned my head to the side. Giselle, lying next to me, opened her eyelids. She lifted her upper body in surprise.
“Ah, Lu, Luca? Why? Ah, ha, haha. It wasn’t a dream… … .”
Giselle smiled awkwardly and turned her blushing face away. She slowly lifted the blanket and checked the condition of her lower body.
Giselle let out a huge sigh and grumbled.
“… … Damn, so this is our place of memories? Oh really, this piece of shit? A memory that will last a lifetime?”
“It was your choice. Again, I said let’s go somewhere better. I thought it might be like this.”
“What? You, you plan something so sinister!”
Giselle frowned.
“Just kidding. Do you think I came prepared?”
Despite what I said, Giselle looked at me with a suspicious look. Then, as if something had occurred to her, she hurriedly averted her gaze. It seemed like she had remembered what had happened four hours ago.
“I, I don’t know much about this kind of thing, but… …Luka, aren’t you doing pretty well for your first time? Really, is this really your first time?”
That’s thanks to Noel’s virtual simulation. Thanks, Noel. And thanks for the tip, Chad.
Giselle’s praise was as joyful as winning a fight. I shouldn’t say this out loud. It’s really ridiculous to compare this to a fight.
“Go get some more sleep. You might not be able to sleep properly for the next few days.”
“But this might be our first and last time.”
Giselle reached out and tapped my pubic bone. Her finger ran down my chest, to my belly button, and stopped below that.
“That’s true.”
The first time is difficult, the second and third times are easy.
… … So that means you did it twice more.
* * *
It wasn’t hard to figure out Heilas’ whereabouts. A big shot like that wouldn’t be hiding and plotting something.
Heilas was having a marathon meeting with the military’s generals. The schedule was posted on the guard’s internal network.
In name only, it was a meeting of emergency response teams for the storm. The reason the meeting lasted so long was because they were on standby to respond to any situation.
Even though it was a meeting where even military generals were present, the meeting place was the Guard Headquarters. It was clear that the center of this meeting was the Guard and Heilas.
Beep.
I sent a message to Heilas that I would go see him. He must know that Giselle and I left the Custoria mansion.
‘You’ll be waiting for me to come.’
Giselle and I stopped in front of the guard headquarters.
Swish.
The rain was still pouring down hard. Our clothes were damp because they hadn’t dried properly since yesterday. They even smelled bad.
I’m used to harsh conditions, but it must be hard on Giselle.
“It’s been a while, Luca. And Giselle.”
Iskan stood at the entrance to headquarters to greet us. He is one of Heilas’s close associates.
Giselle greeted Iskan before I did, as she knew him well.
“It’s been a while, sir.”
“Oh, you’ve grown so much. I didn’t recognize you for a moment.”
Iskan opened the door and waited for us. We entered the building under Iskan’s consideration.
Squeak.
As the door closed, the noise of the rain subsided. Giselle and I took off our hoods and masks and took a deep breath.
“The captain is also waiting for you.”
I spoke to Iskan as if observing him.
“Do you think the captain is angry? I disobeyed his orders and came here.”
“Well, is that guy the kind of person who expresses his anger even when he’s angry?”
Iskan just shrugged his shoulders.
“That’s not it.”
We slowly walked up to the conference room, following Iskan’s guidance. Iskan didn’t say much even though Giselle, who wasn’t a soldier, followed us.
“Bad timing, Luca.”
“I know. I’m prepared for it.”
The elevator stopped as it was going up. As the door opened, a quiet hallway appeared. At the end of it was a double door entrance leading to the conference room.
I’ve raised my senses. I didn’t sleep well last night, but I’m not in a bad mood. No, I felt like my stress level was lower than average because I moved around moderately and happily. I guess I should thank Giselle.
Profit.
As we arrived at the front, the automatic double doors opened to the left and right.
‘How many people?’
As soon as the door opened, I recognized the inside. My five senses scanned the conference room as if they were painting it. Seventeen pairs of eyes moved toward me.
But the most important pupil among them was not Heilas. There was a truly unexpected person.
Shudder.
I didn’t go straight into the conference room. My hesitation was only momentary, but someone as skilled as Heilas or Iskan would find it strange.
‘Ivan Kratsya.’
Ivan was sitting at the head of the conference room. He was smiling and crossing his legs with great confidence.
Whispering.
Ivan called Haylas and whispered something in his ear. Haylas gave Iskan an order with his eyes… … .
… … Damn, I was going to respond right away.
Whirl!
Iskan snatched the Graken Boots from my arms and placed them against the nape of my neck. As expected of a high-ranking guard, he has the skills to do so.
Swish.
I raised both hands in silent surrender.
“Lukaus Custoria is my father’s spy. He has come to destroy you from within.”
Ivan’s beautiful voice spread softly. The generals and high-ranking officers in the conference room sat like machines without showing any sign of surprise.
‘Not bad, Ivan.’
I stared at Ivan. My head spun as if I had been doused with cold water.
‘From the moment I protected Francesca… … Ivan abandoned me. He had other plans.’
Ivan’s excitement at my plan to kill Kinuan was a lie.
I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t shocked. I’m used to this kind of thing now.
I didn’t even have a chance to defend myself.
“Luka, don’t open your mouth. Don’t say anything. I don’t want to kill you.”
Iskan whispered. This must be true. That he doesn’t want to kill me, and that he will kill me.
