106
I am an idiot.
I am a tall person.
I am a fool.
When I woke up, I looked up at the ceiling of my room and felt a sense of self-loathing.
I remembered what happened last night. I was attacked by a helicopter at the Kartika building. I managed to get rid of it. Ilay killed his rival and cousin Garcia.
And I and Giselle… … .
I remembered the moment I broke up with her.
‘What have you done!’
‘Do you really want to die?’
The voices in my head were clashing. I had done something I shouldn’t have done. The desires I had suppressed over and over again burst out.
‘I did something I couldn’t handle.’
I increased unnecessary risk factors.
“fu*k.”
It must be because my ability to control my emotions has diminished after a tough battle. I was also shaken by Illei’s useless words.
No, that’s a lame excuse.
I knew it all too well, but I couldn’t bear it. I was defeated by longing. Something like this would happen someday.
I should have distanced myself from Giselle a long time ago. I should have reduced our face-to-face encounters.
That’s because I didn’t do that… …because I wanted to see her too.
Even now, I feel like I want to go see Giselle right away. I want to go and confirm that what happened last night wasn’t a dream.
“This little shit is as big as a doll.”
I covered my face with both hands and sighed. The emotions that had burst out were taking over me so violently. I couldn’t control them.
‘This is not the time.’
In the meantime, I confirmed a call from Captain Heilas. It was a notice to come to the office this afternoon.
It must be a story related to a raid.
Since information about me and Iskan was leaked, there could have been additional attacks. Judging by their bold actions in killing other nobles as well, it was no ordinary bet.
‘Wake up, Luca.’
I ran my hand through my hair and looked in the mirror.
‘If I want to protect my current life and Giselle, I have to become a monster. A monster that can chew up and swallow anyone who tries to stop me.’
Whether it’s Heilas or Kinuan.
It’s time to make up your mind.
Think back to your past self. I have changed a lot. I have more things to cherish. I have more things to lose.
If I were to lose something I cherish and love… … I might fall to the point where I wouldn’t be able to get back up.
If you don’t like that, you have to become strong like me when I had nothing to lose. You have to become the sharp blade-like me of those days. You have to return to the rough and ruthless me.
Make your mind as sharp as a blade, and your will as sharp as the tip of an awl.
I need to build up my physical strength and have someone to help me. Real-world events and problems are not solved by mind and will alone.
‘Is this an impurity… … .’
A bitter smile came out.
The circumstances surrounding me became more complicated, but what I had to do was clear. And now, I wanted to be stronger than ever.
The surging passions were pushing out the dark emotions.
* * *
In the office were Heilas and Iskan. They seemed to have been talking before I came in.
I finished my verbal report on last night.
“… … Only Ilay Kartika knows that the armed helicopter targeted me. Everyone else will believe it was the work of terrorists.”
“You handled the situation well under pressure. This was entirely my fault. I feel very sorry for you.”
It was rare for Heilas to speak like this. It seemed that he had not anticipated this turn of events.
Actually, I almost died. If my skills were average for a cadet, I would be lying in a funeral casket by now.
“Did you find out who and where the attack was orchestrated?”
An ordinary cadet would never ask such an impertinent question, but I was qualified to say such a thing.
“The investigation revealed that there are enough suspects to count on one hand.”
“But I’m not sure.”
“It will take time.”
I thought for a moment and then opened my mouth.
“If you give me a list of suspects, I will investigate.”
Heilas’s eyes widened. Iskan was also looking at me with a questioning expression.
“You?”
“It might be possible with Kinuan’s help. Kinuan has a certain quirk that makes him fond of me. And he’s more knowledgeable about the underworld than we are. I think we can find the traces through his network. It’ll be even easier if we have a list of suspects.”
I rarely mention Kinuan directly, because he is a subversive person.
The more I flaunt my friendship with Kinuan, the more I will be suspected of being a subversive, and the more likely it is that Heilas will not trust me.
“It seems you are more deeply involved with Kinuan than I expected.”
Heilas’ words were full of meaning. But he had no idea that Kinuan was the Emperor’s direct watchdog.
“If not, Kinuan would have killed me long ago.”
“Anything is fine, but… … remember Rick Silva Nunez. Rick was a loyal guard at first, too. So much so that his superiors assigned him an undercover mission.”
“I’m the one who killed that Rick. I’m not the kind of person who would let delusions get in the way of my career.”
After thinking it over, Heilas tapped the table with his finger and brought up a hologram. A list of suspects drawn from the Royal Guard investigation flowed out from the hologram.
I quickly memorized the names and faces. In less than five seconds, the hologram disappeared.
“If you need any assistance, just let me know.”
I left Heilas’ office. Iskan also stood up and came out with me.
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As they walked down the hallway, Iskan was the first to speak. His crimson uniform swayed elegantly.
“I’m sorry, Luca.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Because things got messed up because of my judgment. The only rational course of action would have been to just kidnap Bao Zakanaan and leave.”
Iskan killed all the clients in the torture facility. That’s why we were attacked. But I didn’t blame Iskan for his actions, nor did I think they were wrong.
“If I were a superior… … I would have made the same decision.”
“No, you wouldn’t have done that. You would have made a better decision. I just couldn’t get over my emotions.”
I doubt I would have made a better decision, especially when I think back to last night.
“But I think that killing them is better for the empire than saving them. I don’t know the best option, but I’ve avoided the worst option.”
I was confident in what I said, because I truly believed it.
“… … You will make a good guard.”
I felt Iskan’s favor, but I also had doubts.
“I appreciate the compliment, but I’m not sure what a good guard means.”
“He who has not lost himself.”
Iskan defined it in one word. It was a statement that came out because he usually had firm values.
“I’d like to do that too.”
I also agreed with Iskan’s words.
* * *
I contacted Kinuan, but there was no reply for a long time.
Normally, I would wait for Kinuan to contact me first. But today, I hurried. The faster I can handle things, the better.
And I think there is a bond between Kinuan and me that is strong enough to warrant visiting without permission.
Knock, knock.
I stood in front of Kinuan’s office. There was no response from inside, but when I checked, it wasn’t closed.
Chiik.
I opened the door and looked inside. My eyes opened wide.
“school…….”
I immediately shut my mouth. Then I just stuck my head out and looked into the hallway. Luckily, there was no one outside.
‘Kinuan is fallen.’
It wasn’t an attack by anyone. If it was, I would have noticed it a long time ago.
Kinuan’s office was neat and tidy. He was lying in front of the door. It seemed like he had tried to lock the door but failed.
‘He’s not dead.’
I examined the condition of the fallen Kinuan. He was not dead. All of his organs were functioning normally.
‘Brain problems.’
It was a brain dysfunction that followed Kinuan. It was a side effect of Aquis Victima.
“Excuse me, instructor.”
I lifted Kinuan and sat him down on the sofa. The great Kinuan was defenseless before me.
‘If I just move my hands… … .’
There wasn’t even any surveillance equipment inside the office. I felt a strong temptation.
Kinuan is my teacher and advisor. But he also holds the power over my life and death. If necessary, he will dispose of me without hesitation.
‘The Death of Kinuan.’
My thoughts were free to run wild. What would I gain and lose if Kinuan died here? Would the situation work out in my favor? Or would it lead to a summary execution? Would the royal family trust me, a mere apprentice, instead of Kinuan?
… … And is this situation itself a trap to test me?
I stood still and stared at Kinuan, who was sitting there as if dead.
Dalgrak.
I rummaged through Kinuan’s arms. If my guess was correct, there would definitely be something there.
“also…….”
I am also an expert in Akies Victory. To borrow Kinuan’s expression, I am a ‘Mister’. I have a good grasp of Akies Victory’s principles and properties.
A syringe of drugs was caught in my hand.
‘speed.’
Kinuan will have a drug synthesized in a ratio that matches his brain condition. Considering the special nature of his position and mission, there will also be combat situations.
If something important comes up, he will activate his brain to its active level even at the risk of a shortened lifespan and accelerated side effects.
‘Even Ken Noma, who had become a wreck, could do it. There’s no way Kinuan couldn’t do it.’
I found the injection port on the back of Kinuan’s head and inserted the syringe.
Phew!
I only injected about 30% of the drug. This amount should be enough to awaken consciousness. Anything more is unnecessary since this is not a combat situation.
Rumble.
Kinuan’s eyelids fluttered rapidly. They closed and opened up and down repeatedly. The prosthetic eye rotated so quickly that it appeared as if it had multiple pupils.
Stop.
Finally the convulsions stopped. And then the storm arose.
Whirlirik!
Kinuan grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around my body and moved behind me. It was a movement I had never seen or heard of before. He squeezed my neck and limbs as if he were a snake.
“Instructor, here I come.”
I barely managed to stop myself from being strangled by putting my hand between his neck. My moans brought Kinuan back to full consciousness.
“Ah, Luca, it was you.”
Kinuan’s tone was extremely calm. The hands and feet that had been holding me back loosened.
‘This is Kinuan’s skill… … .’
It was an extremely bizarre movement, not to mention my own carelessness. I was barely able to keep my life from this completely unpredictable and unique attack.
I was struck by the level of combat reflexes that had become ingrained in Kinuan’s body. It felt like my common sense was collapsing.
‘How much of a monster was he during his active years?’
I’ve only seen a glimpse of Kinuan’s prime. I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of person he was when he was healthy.
Kinuan smiled bitterly as if he had finished assessing the situation.
“I’m glad you found me and no one else. I ended up showing you my weakness.”
“Has your condition gotten much worse?”
I said, patting my limbs. They were stinging from Kinuan’s attack.
“It looks like we don’t have much time.”
Maybe it was because of that time that Kinuan accepted me. Maybe he didn’t have time to choose a successor anymore.
It’s a good thing for me, because it means that even if I’m a little lacking, there’s a chance that I’ll be disposed of.
“Anyway, what brings you here? I have some lost memories, but I don’t think I called you. Or is it because of the attack last night?”
It was hard to believe that he had been in a coma until just a moment ago, as his cognitive abilities were so excellent.
I just quietly exclaimed in admiration as I brought up the matter. Naturally, Kinuan knew that I had been attacked by an armed helicopter.
“I wonder who instigated the raid.”
Kinuan’s lips trembled for a moment.
Ivan Kratsya had warned me of the attack in advance. This means that the Imperial Family is well aware of the flow of events. With Kinuan’s intelligence network, which is the official watchdog, they can find out the perpetrator without further investigation.
“Do you think I know?”
“Yes.”
“Even if I know, why should I tell you?”
“… … I will bring down Heilas and become the head of the Custoria family.”
I opened my mouth.
Kinuan also closed his mouth at the abrupt remark. He touched his chin for a while and then burst out laughing.
“That’s the answer you found.”
I had no other option. This was the only solution if I wanted to keep everything I had.
