EP23 – Sing A Star (10)
119.
“Suyeon.”
Yoon Soo-yeon turned her head when she heard Yoon Ha-jun’s voice calling her. She had a blank expression, as if she had no thoughts. She looked at Hajun Yoon with that expression and opened her mouth.
“why?”
“What are you thinking about?”
“I have no idea.”
I don’t think it’s a lie. Sooyeon Yoon really doesn’t seem to have any thoughts. However, Yoon Ha-jun’s heart was somehow very heavy as he looked at Yoon Soo-yeon like that.
If you think about it, Ha-jun Yoon didn’t say anything to Soo-yeon Yoon throughout the filming of Sing A Star. She just made a one-sided request.
Even when I told them to relax and sing, no explanation was given, and when they gave me this song, I didn’t even ask them how to sing it.
And I didn’t ask how this filming went or how it went. They didn’t even provide proper care. Hajun Yoon, who was thinking about something for a moment, asked honestly.
“3rd final match.”
“huh.”
“Why did you choose that person?”
Yoon Soo-yeon keeps quiet in response to Yoon Ha-jun’s question. She then looked somewhat troubled. Ha-jun Yoon kept thinking as he watched the other contestants choosing their opponents in today’s third final battle audition.
By any chance, was Sooyeon deliberately singling out that person out of consideration for me? Such thoughts. At first, I thought it was an obvious choice to go up.
However, my thoughts changed after seeing Goyo Han and Taeyoung Kim pick strong opponents. Could it be that Sooyeon also wanted to select people like that?
I think I wanted to enjoy the stage with more talented people rather than picking only weak people and winning comfortably.
And when Yoon Soo-yeon didn’t answer, Ha-jun Yoon’s thoughts turned to confidence. Hajun Yoon let out a deep sigh.
It’s your own fault. It was his own fault because he felt pressured by Soo-yeon’s talent, so he became impatient, did not speak properly, and only thought about winning.
Suyeon is not a singing machine. he is a person She is such a good little sister that she follows suit so well that she seems foolish.
Being that kind of younger brother, he naturally thought of himself first. It shouldn’t be like that. Only then will he return to the way he was before.
It’s a relationship where he talks and Suyeon just follows.
All you have to do is go back.
“There is no need to be so considerate of me.”
“huh?”
“Because you participated in Singer Star and sang all the songs. Your heart is more important than anything else. “Don’t worry about me, Suyeon, just do whatever you want.”
Yoon Soo-yeon pauses at Yoon Ha-jun’s words. And then I looked at Hajun Yoon. But for some reason, Yoon Soo-yeon’s expression looking at Yoon Ha-jun is unusual.
His eyebrows were furrowed and he was biting his lip.
Of course, as Yoon Ha-jun said, this is the first time that Yoon Soo-yeon chose an easy partner with Yoon Ha-jun in mind. But isn’t it too much to ask him not to think about himself?
“······Then what about your brother?”
“what?”
“Then what is left for you?”
Yoon Ha-jun closes his mouth in response to Yoon Soo-yeon’s question.
What’s left?
That’s it…
I tried to answer right away, but no answer came out. Of course. Because there is nothing left for Yoon Ha-jun. In the first place, the reason Yoon Ha-jun makes songs on This Singer Star is not for himself.
No, not only is he a singer star, but all the songs Ha-Jun Yoon has made since his previous life are not for himself. These are all songs made for ‘Yoon Soo-yeon’.
To be more precise, it is a song written to apologize to Yoon Soo-yeon from her previous life. To make Yoon Soo-yeon as successful as possible this time, and to repay her as much as she bullied her in her previous life.
In order to become a successful singer, Ha-Jun Yoon poured everything he had into creating a song. As a result, of course, there is nothing left for Yoon Ha-jun.
“I wish my brother would be a little more greedy.”
That’s why Soo-yeon Yoon once told Ha-jun Yoon to make the song that Ha-jun Yoon wanted to make. Of course, Yoon Soo-yeon does not know all of Yoon Ha-jun’s thoughts.
Because I didn’t look into the brain, and the head wasn’t connected. However, when you sing a song, you can roughly understand the thoughts of the person who created it.
And Ha-Jun Yoon’s songs are devoid of his own greed. These are all songs made for someone. It’s as if he doesn’t care.
That always bothered Suyeon Yoon. It felt like her brother was sacrificing everything for her. She felt like she was sucking out her brother’s blood.
That bothered me.
“I want to move forward with my brother. “I don’t want to step on my brother and move forward alone.”
That was Yun Su-yeon’s anxiety that she had not been able to talk about until now. The anxiety that if this continues, her brother will be left alone and she will be the only one to move forward.
Yoon Ha-jun was unable to say anything as Yoon Soo-yeon spoke for the first time. Because I didn’t know. Because she never even thought that Sooyeon was thinking like that.
“Have you been thinking like that the whole time?”
“It wasn’t to this extent before. But this thought became stronger while working as Singer Star.”
“why?”
“Because my brother’s behavior was strange. It’s definitely me who’s participating, but it’s my brother who’s having a hard time. “It’s not like he’s going all out, but it’s so strange that he’s giving up his job and pouring everything into me without even going to school.”
Even siblings would do something like this? I don’t know if it would be better to help him when he can, but that’s not the case with Ha-jun Yoon.
Even giving up her own life, she is pouring everything into creating Yoon Soo-yeon’s songs. Sooyeon Yoon didn’t understand that.
“What on earth do you want to do, brother? Is there a song you want to make? It’s okay if he lets me do the performances he wants to do. If my brother gave up singing and left it to me, I could think of myself as performing on stage with him. But when I look at my brother, I don’t think that’s the case either.”
And what made that thought stronger were the songs sung in the first and second finals. To be more precise, the reviews I received after singing those songs.
Evaluations say that it would be better for performing on stage rather than listening to the music. When she heard that evaluation, Suyeon Yoon’s thoughts became even stronger.
My brother doesn’t make his own songs. He must be making his story into a song. That song is still a song for Yoon Soo-yeon.
You may think that in order not to fall behind Soo-yeon Yoon and to run together, you make your own story into a song, which is the best you can do.
Yun Soo-yeon’s consideration still lies beneath it.
“It’s okay just once, so I hope you don’t think about me and make the song you want to make and sing.”
For the first time, Sooyeon Yoon expressed her dissatisfaction with Hajun Yoon.
And Hajun Yoon could not say anything about his dissatisfaction.
§ § §
“I did not know. “I never thought the song I wrote would feel that way.”
The day after I heard Sooyeon’s true feelings for the first time. Ha-jun Yoon went to school and told his story to So-hyang Jin. After that, he sighed and lowered his head.
I never imagined that Sooyeon would be thinking like that. And she didn’t even know that the song she wrote made her feel that way.
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At Ha-jun Yoon’s words, Jin So-hyang made a bitter expression and went to sit next to Ha-jun Yoon. After that, she spoke to Ha-jun Yoon.
“It’s not good to be treated unconditionally.”
“okay?”
“Too much consideration is like, ‘This person doesn’t expect anything from me.’ “It makes you think.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
Ha-Jun Yoon really has high expectations from Soo-Yeon Yoon. If he is such a great talent, he sincerely believes that becoming the best singer in Korea is not a dream.
And I wanted to help Suyeon grow to that level.
“Still, I think it would be good if Suyeon said that.”
“why?”
“It’s better to tell it like this than to not talk about it until the end and let it fester and eventually lead to an irreparable relationship. “Because we can still turn things around now.”
“······That too.”
“And I think Sooyeon wants to move forward together with Hajun.”
Hajun Yoon licked his lips. I want to move forward together. Of course, Hajun Yoon also thinks like that. But Hajun Yoon is desperately trying to catch up in order to move forward together.
I don’t feel like I’m running next to him.
“Also, Hajun doesn’t express himself well, does he?”
“I?”
“yes. Because Hajun doesn’t talk much. “It’s not just that he doesn’t say things, it’s that if he doesn’t express himself honestly, it doesn’t get through to you.”
“It’s difficult.”
Even though I’ve grown older and even regressed, I still don’t understand people’s feelings. Even though it is difficult, it is too difficult. However, in order to move forward together, it is necessary to understand each other to some extent.
Jin So-hyang smiled slightly as she saw Ha-jun Yoon worrying.
“At times, when you look at Mr. Hajun, he seems like a great person who really doesn’t know anything, but when you look at him like this, he seems like a person who doesn’t know anything.”
“Because I’m not that great of a person. And honestly, I don’t even know what to do now. “Can I apologize to Suyeon?”
“Then you’ll get even angrier.”
“yes?”
I apologized, but I don’t know why he got angrier, but that’s what I thought. I’m sure Soo-yeon would be angry.
“I think you just have to treat it like normal.”
“Will that be enough?”
“Instead, we should tell it through song.”
Yoon Ha-jun blinks at Jin So-hyang’s words. Would you like me to sing it to you? We just fought over a song. Is that okay?
Jin So-hyang burst out laughing at the confused look of Ha-jun Yoon. Really, this guy. You don’t know anything about the human heart.
When that thought comes to mind, the smile disappears and a bitter expression appears. It seems like the first person I developed a crush on was a more frustrating person than I thought.
“Suyeon is not angry with Hajun. I’m just frustrated and sorry. So there is no need to apologize. And show it through song. As Soo-yeon said, making the song that Ha-jun wants to make, making the song that Ha-jun wants to sing, and producing the stage that Ha-jun dreams of. Don’t think about everyone else, including Soo-yeon, and things like winning. “It’s purely because Hajun made the song he really wanted to make.”
When Jin So-hyang told him not to think about anything and just make the song he wanted to make, Ha-jun Yoon looked troubled.
This is a truly difficult story.
When I first made a song, it was for success. After returning, he wrote songs to receive a scholarship or just for Suyeon’s success.
But I make songs just to enjoy myself.
“Hajun, the reason you started singing is obviously because it was fun, right?”
At that time, Yoon Ha-jun looked like he realized something as Jin So-hyang continued. Yes, he definitely started singing because he liked singing at first.
Because I like listening to songs and want to sing those songs. But at some point the reason changed. Because I want to be praised, because I want to repay the favor, and because I want to ultimately succeed.
And now, to apologize for what happened in her past life and make Suyeon successful.
“I don’t know what’s holding Hajun down right now, but I think it’s very important to forget all that and do what you want. Well, it’s an obvious story, but it’s what we commonly refer to as ‘beginner’s intention.”
“······Is that okay?”
Hajun Yoon asks seriously.
Is that really okay?
Hajun Yoon always suffered from guilt and nervousness. He was anxious about the reality that he had put his mother through hardships and had not achieved any success. I feel guilty for being a pain in the ass for Soo-yeon and her mother.
But is it possible to let go of that guilt and nervousness even for a moment?
“Of course, it won’t be easy. I also think about many things before I go on stage. Still, what should I say? I think that kind of refresh is very important sometimes. And more than anything, if you continue to live tied to those things, won’t you end up making songs with the same determination? “I’d rather just make one song that captures those feelings and then do whatever I want the rest of the time.”
After saying that, Jin So-hyang looks at Yoon Ha-jun. Hajun Yoon was looking at Sohyang Jin. He looked somewhat anxious.
Seeing that, Jin So-hyang hesitated for a moment and then slowly clung to Yoon Ha-jun. And then, she says, putting her head on Hajun Yoon’s shoulder.
“Then let me know if you’re having a hard time. The feelings you have. “I will take it all.”
It’s okay to say I’m weak. People say things like this when they are having a hard time. Because they subtly engage in skinship. Even if I hear something like that, I don’t think there’s anything to say.
But at this moment, Jin So-hyang wanted to tell her truth. To be more precise, I wanted to make people aware of it. When you’re having a hard time, there’s someone here you can lean on.
“thank you.”
Jin So-hyang smiled at Yoon Ha-jun’s words.
Although my conscience pricks me,
Still, I was happy.
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