In the past, Dalian ended at this point. But Ciel had no intention of doing that.
My stomach hurt, as if my stomach muscles were being torn apart. It hurt like my intestines were twisting.
Ciel screamed in pain and shouted in anger. Ciel lunged at Eugene, scratching the ground with his hand.
Quadang! Ciel and Eugene’s bodies collided. Ciel wrapped her arms around Eugene’s waist and used her weight and mana to push Eugene’s body away.
Quadang! Eugene’s body fell backwards.
Ciel knew that Eugene had fallen ‘on purpose’. He didn’t give it much thought. Ciel climbed on top of Eugene’s body. He wrapped his legs around Eugene’s waist to prevent him from standing up, and raised his fists high above his head.
The fist that was slammed down was blocked by both hands of Yujin. Eugene opened his eyes wide and looked up at Ciel.
Ciel took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. He tried to stamp his fist down somehow, but his Eugene’s strength was too strong.
“It’s not like you.”
said Eugene. Ciel barely opened his clenched teeth.
“What is like me?”
“During sparring, I lost to you as if it were natural, ah~ I lost again, is it really me to laugh while saying things like that?”
“… … .”
“Then, hold your outstretched hand and stand up. Or, after sitting down and being stroked by you on the head. Has it grown a lot though? Is it really me to laugh like an idiot at the word?”
“why are you like this?”
Ciel licked his lips and smiled.
“The me you know, I still feel like a child.”
“I hate that. I mean I’m no longer a child. But, but why do you- look at me like a child? On the subject of the same age as me. Why are you treating me like a kid?”
“I have never been treated like that.”
Eugene no longer held Ciel’s wrists tightly, but Ciel did not pull his arms out. Rather, he pushed Eugene’s hand and lowered his upper body.
Ciel’s face came closer to Eugene’s.
“Look at me, Eugene Lionheart.”
I felt Ciel’s breath close.
“Don’t look at me as a child. Just, just look at me.”
Eugene’s eyes changed to a complex one.
“Did I hurt your pride?”
“Does it hurt to treat you like a child?”
“OK got it.”
Eugene’s body slowly began to rise. Ciel’s legs gripped his waist, and a force greater than his weight held him down. That didn’t take away freedom from Eugene.
Even when Eugene fully stood up, Ciel was still holding Eugene’s waist with his legs. She laughed and shook her head.
“Can’t you just give me one shot?”
“You don’t want me to treat you like a child?”
Ciel smiled involuntarily at the reply.
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
I wanted to see them as equals. I just wanted to be seen as a woman, not a child.
Yujin let out a bitter laugh. At those words, Ciel’s eyes widened. Ciel pursed her lips for a moment, then slumped her shoulders.
Ciel’s body fell to the ground. Eugene raised Ciel, who was drooping.
“wow… … .”
Admiration was heard from around the corner. When I turned my head, Senya and Cristina, who had returned before I knew it, were staring at Eugene.
“Looking at it, I think my back hurts more.”
Just now, Eugene pinned Ciel’s body to the ground. Senya trembled as she recalled the scene.
“Isn’t that too pointless? Hamel.”
Anis squinted and approached Eugene.
“As you say, I don’t have a knack. However, it was a sparring just now, and Ciel had no intention of admitting defeat with his mouth. therefore… … .”
“I don’t think that’s what I meant when I asked you not to treat me like a child.”
“I know, I know.”
Eugene let out a deep sigh and glanced at Ciel’s fainted face.
“What should I do?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
Anise glanced at Eugene and reached out to Ciel. He was savagely thrown to the ground, but Ciel’s injuries were not serious, perhaps because of his strong body.
“First, let’s go up and lie down.”
“Hey, uh, I don’t know. huh? Don’t treat me like a child, uh, is that what I’m thinking right now?”
Senya approached quietly and asked.
“no way? really? Is it like that? Wasn’t that brother and sister? Ah, uh, yes, you were adopted. No, is that okay?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Then ask someone else, you son of a bitch!”
“Why are you cursing at me? uh? What did I do wrong!”
Eugene was truly unfair. I know that Ciel has been bewildering since he was little.
From some point on, I felt that there was a different sincerity in that behavior.
Unlike Anise in her previous life, Ciel was outspoken. No matter how much Eugene was lacking in this, he had no choice but to be aware of Ciel’s attitude and emotions.
because I’m young
I thought it was an emotion that would pass lightly.
However, if you listen to Ciel’s attitude and remarks just now… … It didn’t seem like it. I thought it would pass or disappear naturally as I grow older, but Ciel’s feelings were stronger than Eugene’s.
“You bastard vermouth.”
reincarnated body. If I had an ugly face, none of this would have happened… … .
Eugene turned away while resenting Vermouth who wasn’t even here.
“Anyway, isn’t that too much?”
Desiira’s day has been busy since early morning.
Although he didn’t play many matches and his ranking was low, Desiira is also a registered fighter.
four days later. A win-win match is scheduled. If there was no particular reason, they would go to the match, but since they decided to go together to subdue the pirate empress, they had to adjust the match schedule. So, Desiira and Carmen met with the owner of the Mador Colosseum early in the morning, and canceled the scheduled match.
I returned to the mansion in the afternoon like that—what the hell is this all about? Desiira glared at Eugene, genuinely dumbfounded and angry.
“You know Ciel’s nickname, White Rose, White Rose! A noble white rose that has not suffered a single wound or even dust in over 30 matches!”
“uh… … hmm… … .”
“What is the sound? Say it right, Eugene Lionheart! No matter how much you and Ciel-sama are brother and sister, even if it’s a fight! How can you shove a noble white rose to the ground? Bang that from the back!”
“uh… … .”
“A normal person would die if he was beaten like that. die! If you don’t die, your spine will be shattered for the rest of your life… … .”
“for a moment.”
Eugene put on a serious expression after cutting off Desiira. She thought her words were generally correct, but there was something she just didn’t quite understand.
“Why do you use the word ‘nim’ for Ciel and mean things to me?”
It wasn’t because I was short of words to refute, I was genuinely curious.
“… … .”
Desiira, who had been shooting nonstop, shut her lips for a moment.
In this short moment, she looked back on the past, which was almost 10 years old. She met Eugene Ryan Hart for the first time at the blood ceremony. Even then, she seems to have been talking nonsense without much thought… … . Desiira sighed and looked away slightly from her.
“Sorry… … yo. this.”
“But to be sorry is to be sorry, Eugene… … You’re right, right? Why are you throwing Ciel-sama to the ground!”
“Ciel wanted that too.”
“I have to say something that makes sense! Where is the person who is not an idiot and wants to shove his body into the ground… … .”
It wasn’t until Didyra finished speaking. A small laugh escaped from Senya, who sat on the sofa and listened quietly to the story. Senya felt sorry for him and hurriedly covered his mouth with both hands.
Desiira looked at Senya with a puzzled expression.
I wanted to ask why I was laughing like a chimney, but I couldn’t easily ask when I thought of the name ‘Wise Senya’. I don’t know what it is, but I’m just guessing that there must be a reason.
– What else is rai? Is it the rai of the ttorai?
Senya desperately ignored the pun that was swirling around her head.
“I guess he didn’t want any sympathy.”
Carmen, who was sitting on the sofa opposite, opened her mouth.
Beside her lay Ciel, who had been wiped clean from the dust. Carmen stared at Ciel’s face for a moment as she closed her eyes.
“How long are you going to lie down?”
I immediately came to my senses. The only thing in the room that didn’t notice was Didira.
The bruises he received from falling to the ground had been treated by Christina, so there were no injuries to his body. But Ciel felt a throbbing pain deep inside her body.
It hurt especially deep in my chest. Ciel bit the inside of his lips lightly at the obvious pain.
“I did a copy.”
Ciel opened his eyes and stood up.
“It didn’t mean anything. I was so one-sided, there was nothing to be saved even if I reviewed it.”
“I hate to be called meaningless.”
Carmen shook her head and said.
“Any defeat has meaning. Even if you were unilaterally defeated without any help, you have to find some meaning in that defeat.”
“Well, after hearing that, I thought about it… … It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Have you broken something?”
“yes. Even if it’s bare ground, it hurts enough to die if you hit it from the back.”
Ciel rubbed his shoulders with a mischievous smile.
“But you don’t have any pain now? Is it because of the saintess?”
Ciel and Christina’s eyes met. It looks like nothing happened.
A mischievous smile that Ciel had often shown before. However, both Christina and Anis easily saw through to Ciel’s expression that it was a lie. There was not much difference between facial expressions and masks, and the saintess of Juras had to know how to change masks skillfully from generation to generation.
“It wasn’t a big injury to begin with.”
Christina also wore a mask. She should be, she thought.
this situation now. If he didn’t hide his feelings and made an honest expression of ‘sympathy’ for Ciel. I thought something might break inside that proud noble lady.
[Even thinking that is a pity.]
Anise pointed out bitterly, but Cristina did not change the mask she had chosen to wear.
“You have been treated, but do you still have any discomfort or pain?”
“There is, but no matter how great Saint Logeris’ divine power is, this cannot be fixed.”
After answering that, Ciel turned his head.
His eyes followed, and he first looked at Senya, who was sitting across from him. Then he left the sofa and saw Desiira standing by the window. He didn’t even know why he was a stupid and kind designer, but he had a face that looked like he was about to cry.
“I have a favor.”
Of course, the last place the gaze stopped was on Eugene’s face. Ciel stared at Eugene’s face before continuing.
“Carmen. Excuse me, could you please leave the room? Designer, you too.”
dear disciple. Although he is his nephew and grandson by line, Carmen’s feelings for Ciel are much closer than that. Carmen quietly stood up without asking Ciel why.
“ah… … yes.”
It was the same with Dei. She didn’t usually notice too much, but she instinctively felt that she shouldn’t ask questions to the current Ciel.
“Then we… … .”
Cristina stepped back and gave Senja a glance. Senya also felt that the atmosphere was not serious and tried to stand up from the sofa.
That was the moment. Ciel’s hand gripped Christina’s wrist, and her golden eyes stared into Senya’s face.
“You two should stay here.”
“uh… … why?”
“Because it has to be.”
My heart was throbbing, and my emotions were shaking. However, there was no such agitation in Ciel’s voice. Ciel was overdoing it in this situation, and decided that it was necessary.
Eugene let Ciel do whatever he wanted for now. In the end, this situation was brought on by Eugene, and he was not a cowardly and nasty man who pretended not to know and ran away in this situation.
After Carmen and Desiira leave the room. Eugene stared at Ciel with her calm eyes and opened her mouth.
“I will tell you.”
The moment his name was called, Ciel spat out.
“I have so many things I want to ask you. Eugene… … Eugene Lionhart. But the ‘words’ I want to say are many times… … For now, this is it.”
It wasn’t good to speak coherently. I don’t want to act like this. Ciel steadied her breath, still pressing down on her throbbing chest.
I asked it first.
“Since when did you know my heart?”
It was a question that could not be circumscribed. Ciel looked straight at Eugene standing by the window.
“Since olden times.”
“So, when is the old days you are talking about?”
“Right after I became adopted.”
Ciel was 13 at the time. How well can a 13-year-old girl hide her emotions? She might have thought that it was a line that she was playing around with, so that the young Ciel wouldn’t be noticed.
But it didn’t look that way to Eugene. Even though her physical age was 13 years old, Eugene still had memories of her previous life.
Ciel smiled and nodded.
That was 8 years ago. When Xian, Ciel, and Eugene were 13 years old. After the family tradition, the blood line ceremony, Yujin, a collateral, was recognized for her skills and became the adopted son of the main family.
Mother—Anicilla was wise and calculating. Anicilla sincerely wanted to become a ‘brother and sister’ with her children, rather than turning an adversary who was excellent but too outstanding into an enemy.
Eugene, the adopted son, can never become the head of the household. But she couldn’t be relieved.
It was because the potential a 13-year-old boy showed was so great. She could have used a method of rejecting Eugene to keep him in check, but Anicilla chose to tie ‘bond’ between Eugene and her twins instead.
-Don’t become enemies with Eugene. Let’s build brotherly friendship. That child, make it so that it can be your strength. Don’t belittle me for being adopted. equal to you. Play together, practice, build memories. Don’t let that kid hold a grudge against you. like that… … Make it so that one day, that child can help you.
Those words were directed at Xian, but Ciel also roughly understood what they meant. In the first place, even before Ciel heard that, he had a strong interest in Eugene.
A distant relative from the countryside who has never even heard of the name. A boy who beat up his older brother on the first day he came to the family home and won the blood ceremony despite being a collateral. Eugene was someone Ciel, who was curious about, couldn’t be interested in.
I want to get to know. became siblings. There were many reasons to come closer. For Ciel, all he had to do was choose comfortably.
After hovering around, he sneaked up to talk to her, and when he felt annoyance, he pushed more blatantly. For Ciel, who grew up in her family’s carelessness, everything about her brother and sister was new to her.
13 years old. Even at that young age, I felt uncomfortable with that word.
Yes, it was just a sense of incongruity at the time. The sense of incongruity, which could not be clearly identified at a young age, became an unclean feeling as puberty passed.
siblings? Siblings, that’s nonsense. Xian, the twin brother, has the same parents. His half-brother Iod also has half the same blood flowing in his veins.
But what about Eugene? It is ‘South’. It had to be. What Ciel wanted was a ‘male’, not siblings.
Ciel Lionheart. She wanted Eugene to feel the same way as she did to Eugene.
“Because I knew it from such a long time ago.”
Ciel still kept the mask. She didn’t want to show her bare face behind the mask, or the swaying emotions just yet.
“Why me… … No, no. Is this too obvious a question? I know what you’re going to say, Eugene. there’s no way you wouldn’t know No matter how I behave, you— you treat me the same way you did eight years ago or now.”
“I mean you know. you consider me a child In your eyes, I will always be a 13-year-old, a kid who thinks he is the cutest and most desirable in the world.”
Not yet. Ciel grabbed his knee with his trembling hands.
“different… … let me ask you something Not very different. The question itself is the same. Eugene, since when?”
“… … .”
“Since when have you been in a romantic relationship with St. Christina Rogeris?”
“You’re not going to catch me saying no, are you? you guys… … Ahaha, no, no. You.”
The throbbing pain in his chest never got better.
No, it wasn’t just painful anymore, it was hot. It was as if there was a roaring fire inside his body. The fire scorched Ciel’s chest with its scorching heat, turning the terrible smoke into words and whispering to spit it out of his lips.
Cristina didn’t know what expression to make now.
Cristina and Anis too. She knows that the relationship with Eugene can be established because of Senya’s mercy and understanding. Knowing that all too well, the two saints were doing their best to make Hamel—- Eugene love them.
What if Senya rejects it head-on? It was terrifying just to imagine. Although they usually threw mean words and smiles at Senya, it was a kind of defense mechanism for the two of them.
If the opponent is Senya, you can do that. Senya would understand. It’s also a fact that was already discussed with Senya 300 years ago. If there wasn’t even such a thing—- there was no choice but to look at Senya one-sidedly.
But the opponent is not that Senya Merdein. This is 21-year-old Ciel Ryanhart. Senja thinks the saints are two-headed snakes, but that doesn’t mean Christina and Anise weren’t really two-headed snakes.
“Not long ago.”
Eugene did not let the saints answer. He sat down across from Ciel and continued talking.
“Even before that, there were precursors of emotion. I didn’t feel well because I was sick.”
Ciel laughed and shook his head.
“Yes, yes, I knew. you… … No, you guys were very, very blatant. Isn’t it? Lady Rogeris. Ever since you came to Lionheart as a family member, you… … I saw Eugene with eyes dripping with honey.”
“Ciel… … .”
“I can understand that. The saintess and the hero are not difficult to imagine.”
who was first
Who did you love first?
who confessed first?
who first… … .
Ciel raised his hand and covered his mouth. He was so afraid of the questions that were about to come out and the answers that would come back. The flame that burns roaring inside his body, it should have burned as soon as it would burn out, leaving only ashes… … .
“But I don’t quite understand this.”
Ciel spat out as he covered his mouth with his hand.
“Saint Christina Loggeris. are you OK. but… … wise Senya. Senya-sama, what the hell is it?”
I know it’s a rude question. But Ciel couldn’t bear to ask this.
“Senya-sama… … You can’t. yes? isn’t it? Our times are so different. Isn’t Senya-sama also aware of that? This, this is nonsense.”
“uh… … uhh… … .”
Senja couldn’t take the same attitude as Christina or Anise. From the moment Ciel’s interrogation began, everything felt uncomfortable and painful, as if he was sitting on a cushion of thorns. Senya couldn’t answer and only pursed his lips.
“Not anyone else, Senya-sama… … Senya-sama, who even has the nickname of being wise, can’t be like this. We are descendants of the great Vermouth. And Senya-sama, didn’t you love stupid Hamel?”
“Yeah, Hamel confessed… … .”
“But Senya-sama had the same feelings, right? Fairy tales may differ from real history. but, but still. This… … I don’t think so. no… … . Never, never.”
“What’s not going to happen?”
Eugene let out a long sigh and said.
“There are no absolutes in human emotions, Ciel.”
“You say that?!”
Ciel couldn’t stand it and yelled out loud.
“There are no absolutes in emotions? You who always treated me as a child… … !”
My head was dizzy. Eugene opened his mouth to say something, but Ciel quickly reached out and interrupted Eugene’s words.
didn’t want to hear I was afraid of an answer.
So I asked the same thing again.
“Since when did you do that with Senya-sama? huh? The first time you went to Samar?”
“… … .”
“Why don’t you answer? Yes, I won’t force you. I’ll ask something else instead. Who’s first?”
“What do you mean?”
“Ha ha ha ha ha!”
who was first
Who did you love first?
who confessed first?
“Saint Loggeris and Senya. Which of the two comes first?”
The question perplexed everyone. Silence passed without anyone being able to open their mouths. Ciel giggled alone in the silence.
“Eugene. I don’t mean to criticize you or anything like that. In fact, the odd one would be on my side. yes? we are… … we are siblings But that’s it. huh? We were 13 then. Do you know what I mean? you and me! The time spent being strangers is longer than siblings.”
Ciel couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer.
“Who is first?”
I couldn’t even wear a mask. Ciel staggered from his seat and stood up. Cristina, at a loss for what to do, reached out to her, but Ciel shook it off with a ferocious hand.
It was cloudy, so I couldn’t see well.
“It’s not Saint Rogeris or Senya-sama. That’s me. Eugene, Eugene Ryanhart. I was the first to see you.”
It was so hot that it ran down my cheeks. It felt like the fire that had been burning inside my body was flowing from my eyes.
“I am first, first. i liked you Me, whom you treated as a child! First of all, I loved you.”
“… … .”
Ciel approached Eugene with staggering steps.
“Why can’t I? Why do I treat you like a kid? Why can’t I be your girl? What was I, what was I lacking?”
Unrefined words came out of my lips.
“Please don’t bullshit about lack of time. I’ve seen you since I was little As you have seen me since I was a child! I mean, I’ve seen you since I was little. You are no longer a child to me, so why do you see me as a child?”
I was miserable myself.
“What the hell am I… … I don’t know what was missing. am i ugly not attractive? Are you like a dog? If it is, I, I can fix it.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Or what! Why can’t I?”
Ciel cried out.
I couldn’t pay more attention to the gaze around me. After that, I didn’t even think about what kind of emotions I would have, what kind of expressions I would make, and even look at the other person.
Ciel reached out and grabbed Eugene’s shoulders.
“I… … You said you saw you before anyone else. First of all, I loved you. It’s the same now. I, I… … .”
“That’s not right.”
Ciel’s tears were so clear. I felt heavy tears dripping down my cheeks and down my chin. The trembling of her hands holding her shoulders shook Eugene’s chest.
“It wasn’t you who saw me first and liked me.”
“What does that mean… … .”
“I am not the Eugene Lionheart you know.”
I didn’t want to lie to the sobbing Ciel.
“I am Hamel.”
“… … what?”
“Hamel, Hamel Diners. I am the reincarnation of Dugin Hamel, who died 300 years ago.”
Eugene let out a long sigh and said. Ciel’s eyes, which were dripping with tears, became blank.
I have no choice but to understand Eugene thought so. Although her chest ached and ached and was clogged. She believed that this answer would convince Ciel and make him back off.
“what… … .”
Ciel’s trembling lips opened.
“What are you talking about?”
A clean retreat would also be a way. This feeling was eventually harbored by a 13-year-old girl, and there is a saying in the world.
First love never comes true
So, you can retreat while comforting that there is nothing you can do about it. Ciel knows that she is no longer a child.
The process of a child becoming an adult.
experiencing and learning a lot,
Time to live so far and future.
I realized how small the feelings I harbored when I was 13 were in the end.
So, if you’re sorry that you can’t help it.
If you think that it wasn’t meant to be.
It’s my first love, no matter how much I like it. My partner doesn’t like me… … If you build up good feelings with other people.
Although I don’t want to divide this into victories and defeats.
If you dare to divide and admit defeat.
still young… … The world is wide… … So, someday.
therefore… … .
“what… … .”
Ciel Lionheart doesn’t want anything like that.
First love doesn’t come true? what do you mean Someone in the world might be bitter by reciting the obvious and trivial saying that first love never comes true.
But Ciel didn’t think so.
The emotions I harbored when I was 13 are small, so who the hell can decide? What does it mean that the time to live in the future is longer than the time you have lived so far?
On the contrary, since we have to live for a longer time, we cannot give up our current feelings. Because I have experienced and learned a lot, I am confident in my current feelings. Emotions build up as you get older. Since I became an adult, I was desperate for the feelings I had since I was a child.
That’s why, there was no consolation that it could not be helped. The feelings that had built up since their first meeting convinced Ciel that all of this must be a connection.
first love? Does the other person like me or not love me? To love someone else instead of me?
Ciel gritted his teeth while crying. Victory and defeat? More than anything else, Ciel didn’t want to accept it.
In the first place, Ciel Lionheart had never fought properly until now.
Let alone fight, he had never properly faced Eugene.
It is true that Ciel is still young. There are many things that the world is wide. However, Ciel was certain of this.
Even if he lived for dozens or hundreds of years, he would not have as pure and desperate feelings as he does now. No matter how wide the world is, you will never meet someone better than the first love of a 13-year-old girl.
I knew that acting arrogantly, playing pranks, and letting go of grins were of no help at a time like this. If it was pure and desperate, it had to be as desperate as it was.
Please look at me, please don’t forsake me. Even if it is nasty and ugly, you have to cling to it while crying.
Messy and ugly?
no, not at all.
Ciel didn’t feel the slightest bit of shame at the tears he shed or the begging he cried out in sorrow. She had no intention of saving face, and she had no intention of just staring at her as she smiled so pretty. She made up her mind to roll over in the mud.
“What are you talking about?”
After Eugene spat out those words. The silence didn’t last long until Ciel responded. only a few seconds. But in everyone’s head, longer time has passed than that.
Cristina, Anis, and Senya couldn’t help but panic. The saints did not know everything about Ciel, but they were well aware of how proud, haughty, and mischievous the Lionheart girl was.
Ciel sobbing while shedding tears. Begging why, I can’t do it. I’m confused because I don’t know what to do now… … Revealing reincarnation here? Not to anyone else, but to Ciel, whom I’ve seen since childhood?
‘rather… … .’
Senya gulped and glanced at Eugene’s face.
She didn’t know much about Ciel, but she thought that revealing her reincarnation here was a pretty good choice. Senya was heartbroken and painful to hear the young girl’s sobbing begging. It was so sad and pitiful.
but. If you find out that the person you liked is not a brother and sister who grew up together since childhood, but a reincarnation of a person from 300 years ago… … Wouldn’t that lady also think ‘it can’t be helped’. It really can’t be helped, and it’s not even a lie, is it?
“You are the reincarnation of Hamel?”
Of course, Ciel experienced the longest time among the people in this room.
Hamel’s reincarnation. The moment he heard those words, memories from when he was 13 were connected in Ciel’s head.
It’s hard to believe easily. But curiously, Ciel didn’t think that was a lie. It is because numerous questions about Eugene have been solved just by revealing the premise that he was ‘reincarnated’.
“so… … What did that mean?”
Ciel squeezed his chest and sighed.
Do not doubt. Eugene Ryanhart, whom he has known for eight years since he was 13 years old, is the reincarnation of Hamel, a hero from 300 years ago.
“Just because you’re that kind of person doesn’t mean you’re not the Eugene Lionheart I know?”
Yujin’s expression went blank at the question as she cried. Ciel gasped, shaking off Eugene’s hand that was still holding her wrist.
“No. Whether you’re reincarnated or not, you’re Eugene Lionheart. You met me with the name Eugene Lionheart.”
“that… … .”
“You said it wasn’t me who first saw you and liked you. No–no, I don’t think so. Because, to me, you are Eugene, not Hamel.”
It may be far-fetched. But Ciel didn’t care about that. He had been like that since childhood, when he hadn’t even met Eugene. Ciel Ryan Hart had the personality that if he had something he wanted, he had to have it at all costs.
And at this moment, no, in the life of a human named ‘Ciel Lionheart’, what he wanted the most was the man in front of him.
“therefore… … .”
Ciel grabbed Eugene’s shoulder again. He had a lot of tears, so his head was dizzy. All the words he uttered along with his crying made breathing difficult. He was completely burned and left with ashes, and his heart ached and ached.
“me… … .”
“… … .”
“me too… … Look.”
Ciel lowered his head.
Eugene didn’t know what to say right now. To Eugene, she was a little different from the sense that Ciel was—her brother or sister. To put it bluntly, just… … was a kid A kid I’ve seen before.
The little boy is crying, asking not to treat him like a child anymore.
“I am… … .”
Ciel muttered without raising his head.
Ever since he was young, Eugene has been looking into a distant place. No, not only did she feel distant from her gaze, but also from Eugene herself. She wondered why she always treated her brother and sister the same age as children. She now knows why.
“I am here.”
Eugene Ryanhart is looking at the past 300 years ago. He prioritizes the relationship that has been going on since then.
“I am also here with you.”
The voice he managed to squeeze out was not very pretty even for himself. I had cried so much, and my voice was hoarse and hoarse from gasping for breath.
Ciel forced a smile, twisting his red, bloodshot eyes.
“In the present… … Don’t run away, Eugene Lionheart. Even if you were Hamel in your previous life, now… … It’s Eugene.”
“… … .”
“What you said… … It just sounds so cowardly and cruel to me. After all, you didn’t give me a proper answer to my feelings.”
Eugene closed his eyes. A sigh escaped the emotions that were brewing from the depths of her heart. Her sighs failed, and a lingering feeling pressed on her tongue.
Nothing to say here. I thought it was really cowardly to shut up and avoid eye contact.
“I am… … .”
Eugene opened his closed eyes.
The reason why he couldn’t easily carry on his voice—- was because of his bloodshot eyes that were bright red and the eyes that were clearly crying.
The words Ciel spoke were all different in pitch, but the emotions carried by each word were always heavy. No, she was sharp. Rather than being beaten by the horse, it seemed like it was being torn to pieces.
“I’ve never seen you like that.”
Ciel’s eyes fluttered.
“I noticed you looked at me that way, but I never did. in the present… … don’t run away Ciel, on the contrary, those are very cruel words to me.”
Ciel’s shoulders trembled.
“Because in my previous life I was an idiot. like a sick… … that he died I don’t know if it’s over with that, but I’ve been reincarnated. I don’t know why I was reincarnated. However, I reincarnated… … When you hear what the world is like now, do you know what was the first thing you thought of?”
Eugene smiled bitterly and shook his head.
“It was like X.”
“… … .”
“When Hamelo died. I thought I died after clearing up my lingering feelings, but that wasn’t the case. Like an idiot, I just ran away. That I was selfishly running away from things I couldn’t do. That idiot was given life again. I, who ran away in the past… … How can I turn a blind eye to the past?”
Ciel wiped away the flowing tears.
“Even this answer may sound cowardly to you. But I am like that. As you said… … The current me is Eugene. But at the same time, it’s also Hamel. Being that kind of country, I couldn’t have feelings like you.”
“I am… … doesn’t care.”
Tears that had been wiped away flowed again.
“Until now, that’s what it was. If so, today, even from now. No, even from tomorrow. even in the future… … .”
I couldn’t speak any more. Ciel pursed his lips, then covered his mouth with his hand.
As I poured out everything, my empty heart shattered. He tried to hold it in somehow, but Ciel’s hands were too small to block the tears he spewed out.
“iced coffee… … Ahhh… … .”
Why did it become like this? Why can’t I have what I want the most? I desperately struggled, but why can’t I get the answer I want?
“ah… … ugh… … Aaaaaaa… … .”
what more can i do here Should I hang on more, more ugly? My thoughts didn’t go well. She was just confused and sad. I was so miserable myself.
Tears began to form in Senya’s eyes as she watched Ciel cry. Senya threw his head back and tried to think of something else in order to somehow hold back the tears, but the tear ducts had already burst, and even the legendary Archmage couldn’t help it.
Senya wasn’t the only one who started crying. No, it had already been a sea of tears inside Eugene’s cloak for a long time.
Lymilia rubbed her eyes and cried profusely, while Mer chewed the hem of her clothes in order not to cry, and only shed tears.
“buy… … doesn’t care.”
Ciel said it again. I had no choice but to repeat these words.
“Even if you never saw me like that. Even if you don’t have the same feelings as me, I, I don’t care.”
The resolution had been in place from the very beginning. So I thought it would be fine… … .
“therefore… … So, don’t hate me… … mind… … .”
Ciel couldn’t speak anymore and sobbed.
do you hate Because he had never imagined that such words would come out, Yujin’s eyes widened.
“Hey, wait, Ciel, what the hell is that… … .”
It was before Eugene’s words were finished. Kwajik! There was the sound of something being crushed. Everyone was startled by the sudden sound and raised their heads.
“… … Saint Rogeris?”
Christina’s feet. I saw that the smooth marble floor had been shattered.
Tuduk, Tuduk! Every time Christina walked, crumbs of stones landed on the soles of her shoes. She walked away from the deep and clear footprints and approached Ciel with a stride.
“Suddenly… … .”
Ciel also couldn’t finish talking. slam! The fierce slapping turned Ciel’s face to the side.
Everyone’s mouth fell open at the sight. In particular, Eugene was frightened and grabbed Christina.
“Why are you hitting the kid?!”
“What did you just say?”
“Eugene. What did you just say?”
“no… … Why would you hit a child and that… … .”
My body reacted on its own to the intent to kill. Wedge! A sharp slap cut across Eugene’s eyes.
“for a moment… … .”
“Don’t avoid it.”
I couldn’t tell if it was Christina or Anis. It really didn’t matter who it was. Either way, if I heard those words and avoided them, I was more afraid of the aftermath.
Whoops! Another slap swung Yujin’s head to the side.
“Lady Ciel is not this guy.”
Cristina spat out with a ghastly glint in her eyes.
[Oh God… … .]
Anise, who had been crying softly, found herself unconscious at Christina’s sudden action.
“And Miss Ciel.”
Christina’s head jerked.
Ciel, who was holding on to his tingling cheeks, couldn’t even make a sound of whimper, and stared at Christina in bewilderment. She wondered why she was slapped herself now. Ciel couldn’t understand that fact.
Cristina said in a quiet yet powerful voice. And she strode closer to Ciel.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“what… … what are you doing… … .”
“You insulted me.”
insult? Ciel couldn’t answer and only pursed her lips. She had no excuses or refutations she intended to hear. Cristina glared at Ciel and continued her words.
“Indecent arrogance, an insult that stems from that. Also you ignored me. You acted as if you were the only one who loved the present Eugene, not the former Hamel.”
“that… … .”
“If that is not an insult and disregard for me, then what is it?”
“I… … Did I say anything wrong? Saint Rogeris, aren’t you seeing a hero who isn’t Eugene after all? Besides, it seems that you are Eugene reincarnated… … .”
This time, Ciel was unable to speak to the end. A sharp, lightning-quick slap struck a different cheek from where it had been hit earlier.
“Wrong. I don’t think it’s worth refuting, but Ciel, you seem to be crying so much right now that your brain isn’t working properly, so I’ll let you know. Because Eugene looked at me, not a saint, I am also looking at Eugene, not a warrior. Rebirth? I don’t care about that. I, Christina Rogeris, love Eugene Ryanhart now.”
“What am I… … What did I do wrong to have to hit you?!”
It was very sad, but I was slapped twice. Ciel yelled and grabbed Christina by the collar.
“Yes, I will admit to insulting you and ignoring you. but… … ! I… … There’s no reason it’s right for you… … ! I, I knew Eugene before you. I’m First… … !”
“You were the only one watching.”
Cristina snorted and smirked.
“Yes, you’ve seen ‘Eugene Lionheart’ since you were a kid. But isn’t that all? He asked me not to treat you like a child, but now you are crying and screaming like a child. stupidly.”
“Lady Rogeris… … !”
“Of course, since I am a saint who must be kind, I will not ignore your wishes. As you wished, I would not treat you like a child.”
Christina’s lips twitched.
“So I am laughing at you as an adult. What did you do while Senya was sealed away? What were you doing before I met Eugene for the first time? Someday, later, with such a complacent thought, you must have put your emotions behind you. Alas, that’s right, Ciel, you were afraid after all. They were afraid that if they rushed to convey their feelings, even the bond of ‘brother and sister’ would disappear.”
Ciel’s face went white. Cristina whispered as she met Ciel’s tear-stained eyes.
“What was lacking? You lacked courage. That is why I am here crying and clinging to it. Eugene was taken away because you were an arrogant coward.”
At those words, Ciel’s rationality snapped. slam! The hand that he unconsciously swung slapped Christina in the ear.
It could have been avoided, but Cristina did not bother to avoid it. She didn’t even have to. From the moment Ciel slapped her, Christina had already put the protection of light on her body.
“this… … this… … !”
“Why is that? Are you upset?”
Are you upset? Of course I was upset. I felt like I was about to go crazy. Even more resentful was that Christina was right. Ciel took a deep breath and let his tears flow.
“So are you going to give up?”
“Doc… … shut up… … !”
“You don’t want to give up, do you?”
The ridicule is gone. There was warmth in his cold voice.
Christina was the one who sympathized the most with Ciel’s words in this room today.
“You don’t want to lose to a distant past that you don’t even know about, right?”
“… … .”
“I want you to look at me where I am right now, is that what you are desperate for?”
“… … .”
“Whoever is by his side wants to stay with him, right?”
Ciel couldn’t hold Christina’s collar any longer. She staggered back and sat down on the sofa.
“of course… … do it… … .”
“If it’s something like that, it’s not enough to ask you not to hate it.”
Christina reached out to Ciel. Recalling the fierce slapping she received in quick succession, Ciel unconsciously took a defensive stance against her. However, the slapping didn’t come like before.
“It makes me love you.”
Cristina clenched her fists in front of Ciel’s eyes.
“I’m not begging you not to hate me, I have to desperately make you love me.”
“Lady Rogeris… … ?”
Christina shook her head with a determined expression.
“what… … ?”
“Call me sister, Ciel.”
Cristina opened her clenched fist, and with that hand lifted Ciel up.
“Let’s go to my room.”
“why… … ?”
“Because there are many stories to share.”
Cristina didn’t listen to Ciel’s answer and dragged him by force. Unable to resist, Ciel was staggered away from the powerful force uncharacteristic of a priest.
Senya sympathized with Ciel’s feelings and cried sobbing because she felt sorry for her. She was terrified by the sudden sound of her slapping and harsh criticism.
She hurriedly got up to follow Ciel and Christina.
“Senya-sama, don’t come.”
“uh… … ? why?”